The Blacksmith’s Daughter by Fay Berry 2013 © - Chapter 46 - 1958 08 20 - Fay Berry

The Blacksmith’s Daughter – Chapter 46

In August 1958I wrote a letter to my brother Charles recounting some of the troubles within the Woodville Ecclesia and telling him that I was considering going to Enfield instead. He wrote back that he felt I should stay at Woodville because the ecclesia needed strengthening and did not need to lose more members as it seemed currently to be doing. He discussed the “Song of Solomon” as I was currently reading this book and had some questions.

My boss, Rod Martindale, told me he had named his daughter Jill after his former fiancee. My father had told me he had named me after an old girlfriend of his, so Rod’s story interested me because of this.

Marg Watson and Dennis Brown had their kitchen evening. Dennis was in my Bookkeeping class at Unley High School and we debated together for the Mr & Miss Unley High debate and won.

I went to Back Valley, Victor Harbor to spend the weekend on Jeff Martin’s farm and I had a wonderful weekend. Jeff was also at Victor for a lecture but he stayed in the town so we didn’t see each other. He offered to “squire me around Granite Island,” but I declined. Jeff Martin and I went horseriding and had to flee a swarm of bees which was very scary.

19581116 and Jeff Berry asked me to go with him. I was too unsure to say yes, but said I would think about it. I went out with Des Manser one last time to to see if there was a “spark” between us or not. There was not, just a lot of goodwill and respect, but not love.

News quickly got around that Jeff had asked me to go with him, don’t ask me how, because as usual I had said nothing to anyone. I think it must be that “little bird” the Bible speaks of that had “carried the matter.” At Rosalie’s birthday party I soon found that people were sympathetic to me because Jeff seemed so disinterested in spending time with me during the party. I had not noticed his absence until they all pointed it out to me, and then I began to feel resentful at his lack of interest or whatever it was that kept him at one side of the room and me at the other. Des drove us both home in the end, whilst pretty openly displaying his displeasure at Jeff’s treatment of me. This added to my anger at Jeff and I felt increasingly angry by the end of the evening.

My Boss RJM had started to “hit on me at work” which culminated in his becoming very drunk and very amorous towards me at his birthday party held in his home on the Seafront past Grange. His son Peter was not happy with his behavior and nor was I. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps it was time for me to look for another job.

Dad received a letter from my Brother Charles asking us all to come to Sydney because he had something great and wonderful to show us. When we didn’t all react the way he had expected, he wrote a surprisingly arrogant and rude letter to Dad. I wrote him a berating letter back telling him what I thought about “the tone of his letter.”

19581129 Saturday Jeff asked me to “go with him.” I accepted!!!!

195812307 Sunday, Jeff and I

SAT togethe

for the first time at the night meeting!!!

1 9581213 Saturday, I am now “officially” going with Jeff.

19581214 Sunday, Jeff did actually SIT with me Sunday, a sure sign that we really ARE going together.

19581220 Went to the Messiah with Jeff at the Town Hall.

Well, all of the above demonstrates that at last after one and a half years of back-and-forthing, Jeff and I are now a couple!

Our family finally found out what it was that had got my brother Charles’ “knickers in a knot.” It was a memory program he had been studying. He wanted to teach the family how to use the method. To him it was the most amazing thing since sliced bread and the secrecy must have been because of his fear that when we began to display our “prodigious” memories (if we ever achieved such) after studying the program, we might be seen as showing off when we used our knowledge. That must have been what all the secrecy was about! Sometimes I wonder about our family?

In the end, we were all happy to go along with whatever he wanted us to do, but why he had to be so mysterious about it was beyond all of us. Maynard of course, who absolutely adores Charlie, and is tremendously influenced by him got so excited about it all that he had a manic attack and ended up in hospital. I may be wrong, but I think it was the excitement of Charlie’s “memory” stuff that did it. His mind sped up and he talked non-stop. It was very upsetting and frightening for us all. This was Maynard’s second breakdown. His first was when he was nine or so year’s old, possibly brought on by his time spent in the Salvation Army Boy’s home where he was so badly abused, and possibly also for how bad he had felt when Mum had discovered and put a stop to his abuse of me when I was a little girl. Whatever the cause, this time he was very ill and none of us knew what to do. Roma had Maynard admitted to the Northfield Mental Hospital where he was given shock treatment the same as Keith Noble has had. Shock treatment kills off brain cells. I really don’t know what good it is supposed to do. It’s medieval torture as far as I can see.

John Knowles had his 21st birthday at the Methodist Hall Hawkers Road, Croydon. I don’t remember going to it though I must have done.

Keith Noble wrote me a letter from the Northfield Mental Hospital in which he expressed satisfaction that his brother Ronnie Noble was taking an interest in the Truth. He asked me to apologise to Elaine Luke for him because he didn’t go to her 21st birthday party.

Mum received a letter from Ken Niejalke from Hobart telling of his activities in Tasmania where he now lives and in his letter he comments that he is “very pleased to hear that Fay and Jeff are going steady,” so that news has even reached Tasmania! He also said he was sorry to hear of Maynard’s having a breakdown, so the Christadelphian grapevine is obviously alive and well.

I attended the Marysville Youth Conference in Melbourne in May of 1959 and wrote to Jeff telling him all the news from the conference. To my great annoyance I had a bad dose of laryngitis for most of the conference but everyone else seemed quite happy at my loss of voice!! Mum wrote me a letter whilst at the conference advising me not to “neglect Jeff, Fay” because “you won’t get another boy as nice as him in a life time!” Well Jeff certainly seems to have won Dad and Mum over. Will write more about the Conference in Chapter 47.

DIARY ENTRIES

19580820 Letter from Charles O’Connor to Fay O’Connor,

Dear Fay, Loving Greetings in Christ,

We have read your numerous missives, and though we have not time to write to you, have done so all the same. Your plan for the future as regards study in the word of God is a very wise step. It pleases us very much to hear it. Woodville seems to be “sowing vanity” and therefore may “reap the wind.” But I am pleased that you are staying there and would prefer you didn’t transfer to Enfield. Woodville needs help. In your dealings at Woodville, remember that you are a sister not a brother and guard your words carefully. Let not your right hand know what your left hand does. Should you achieve anything, do not boast, but thank God whose strength it is that empowers us to do his will. It is on the other hand disappointing to learn that others are leaving to go to other ecclesias now that the heat is on. They could help much by their presence at Woodville and at the same time could do a little to repay the benefits that they have received while under Woodville’s roof in the better days that are past, by staying there to try and establish an atmosphere of good in which the Truth may increase again. It is rarely in the storm that the Word conquers, but in quiet when brethren make it their business to speak constantly and gently of the common salvation. Now for the “Song of Songs,” the most marvelous song that has ever see the light of day. The literature that is extant about it is very scanty, but that does not matter. It is a song that is intended for the understanding of God’s saints alone and it is rare that they find occasion or necessity to speak or write about it. It is like a love letter (you would not understand what I mean by that), it is a thing one cherishes in secret. The only book that is extant upon the “Song,” in the Truth is that entitled “The Song of Solomon,” written by a brother Ask. It is beautifully written, though too short; nonetheless, it supplies all the essential information to make complete understanding of it possible even to unmarried ladies. I will send you my copy on loan upon one condition: that you will type out a copy for yourself and return the book in quick smart time. While you are doing that, we would consider it a favor if you would do three carbon copies one for Maynard, one for Roger Stokes, to be presented to them as a present from you and Beth and me and one to send back to us which we will present to David Pogson from you and Beth and me. This will provide a little exercise for your latest scatterbrain acquisition, the electric typewriter. Remember Beth and me to everybody at home. Buckets of bloo…sorry, love

Typed by Beth.

19580908 Rod J Martindale’s daughter is called Jill Ruth (after his former fiance).

19580920 Saturday – Jeff came to pick up stencils 10.30 am stayed until 12.30 p.m. We talked a lot and straightened out much of the problems that we have had between us. It was just quiet, peaceful discussion of our disagreements and difficulties. He also apologised for previous behaviors…. we shall see.

19580924 Wednesday – Marg Watson and Dennis Brown’s kitchen evening – Jeff brought Eureka index for me.

19581027 Sunday – Had a conversation with Rosalie Foster – We agreed that if only Geraldine Stokes could learn not to be not so aggressively loud she has the makings of a really attractive girl, trouble is, who’s going to tell her that? Not us!

19581029 Wednesday – I‘ve got a note on my pad saying that Mr Martindale’s ex-fiance in America is called Lola Greenslade – thought her name was Ruth? Very confusing!

19581107 Friday – I went to Jeff Martin’s place for weekend. Jeff Berry was also at Victor to attend a lecture that was being held at Victor Harbor that weekend. He offered to squire me around Granite Island – I declined! I don’t understand one thing, though, some time ago at Hebrews Class he told me he wasn’t going to Victor that weekend and I told him then that I was going, but later on (after this weekend) he told me he had gone because he knew I was going and was disappointed when he found out that I wouldn’t be staying in the town. I had such a great time at the Martin’s farm and we had a wonderful memorial meeting which was held in Jeff Martin’s old shack. Also I went horse riding with Jeff Martin and we were pursued by a swarm of bees – had to gallop to get away from them. Very scary.

19581109 Sunday – Jeff Berry took the class at Sunday School and Jeff Martin was also there. While I was staying at Jeff Martin’s place I talked to him a bit about Jeff Berry, but tried to give the impression I was not interested in him. I didn’t success though. Jeff Martin guessed that I was keen on Jeff. After Sunday School Jeff Berry talked to Dad and Mum and got a ride home with us. At one point the car swerved and Jeff put his arm around me and squeezed me and then left his arm there. I removed it. He looked hurt, or embarrassed or something and seemed all stirred up – I felt a bit sorry for him but I was mad at him and didn’t relent. (wish I could remember now (11.9.59) why I was so mad at him).

19581111 Thursday – Jeff came out to collect the Balance Sheet. Graham also came home that evening and spent the evening with the family.

19581115 Saturday – Jeff came to dinner so that he could get a ride to the Temple for the Messiah evening. My brother Maynard sang the Tenor part in the Messiah. He sang it so beautifully. He has the most beautiful tenor voice. Took Nobles home afterward. Jeff put his arm round me and put my head on his shoulder. Keith’s brother Trevor piped up, “Look Mummy, Fay’s got her head on Jeff’s shoulder.” I sat up straight. Then Jeff asked me did I know what I was doing 365 days ago. I didn’t. He said that 365 days ago we were coming home from Melbourne in the train together after the Messiah weekend!

19581116 Sunday – Tonight Jeff asked me to go with him! I didn’t know what to say. I said I would think about it. So unsure.

19581119 Wednesday – Tonight I couldn’t settle down to study. Couldn’t think what to do with myself. I thought about Jeff, how he had asked me to go with him. I was still so unsure. I rang Des. We talked for a while and before long, he had suggested a run to the beach. I wanted to see how I felt about him, if I could love him more than I loved Jeff.

He picked me up at 7.30 in his new Volkswagen and we drove to West Beach. As we drove, I studied him, and compared him to Jeff. Des was better looking than Jeff, comfortable to be with, reliable and…..nice. Jeff, unpredictable, nerve-racking to be with, unreliable, untrustworthy, but still….nice. Very soon I began to think as I have often thought before, that Des and I would make a very good twosome. We both love sport, get on well together, his parents are mad keen to have me for a daughter-in-law (and that is half the battle, isn’t it?). I think a lot of him, get on well with him. Only one difficulty, could I love him? Could I love him more than Jeff? Well tonight, surely, I would find out.

We raced down to the water together and took the plunge. It was lovely in, though a bit cold. Naturally, we gravitated together for warmth. Then we got our towels and went for a run and when we had warmed up and puffed ourselves out, we trotted up to the sand hills and settled ourselves down to recover. Des’ kisses were nice, but they didn’t have much affect on me and before long, I was ready to call it a night. We left the sand hills and got into his car and for the first time ever, we began to talk about our feelings for each other. It seems that we have both felt that because we got on so well together and liked the same things that perhaps we might eventually end up together. When all is said and done, we had been having these “sessions” together since the time we went to Port Elliott with the young folk’s. I remember Jeff was with the crowd on that occasion but I can’t remember whether he was baptised or not then. I asked Des straight out, was he keen on me. He said, “Yes,” Then I asked him, “How long have you been keen on me?” Des hesitated for a while, and then said “On and off almost indefinitely, I’ve always been keen on you to some degree or another. But you were too young. I thought I would wait until you got older.” “I didn’t know you were keen on me,” I said. I felt really surprised. “You must have done,” Des said, “What about all the times we’ve spent together?” Des said. “Yes,” I answered, “but I didn’t think you were keen on me, I thought you were just getting practice.” “You are crazy,” Des said. Then we both sat there thinking, both of us trying to work it all out. I thought to myself that if I could only work up some enthusiasm for Des, he could be mine. For a while it seemed to be the only sensible thing to do, but the only thing that was preventing from being really interested in Des was ….Jeff. I could tell that Des found me more attractive than any other girl he‘s met up to the present and a girl would be a fool not to welcome him with open arms. I sighed because I knew it was not to be. It was at least 6 months too late. I told Des then that Jeff had just this last week asked me to go with him and I was considering it. Des was dumbfounded! He wanted to know how I could be such a fool as to be interested in someone like Jeff. He said that he didn’t think much of Jeff and that he didn’t think we were suited. I didn’t know what to say. He was probably right, but I told him I would see what happened tomorrow night at Rosalie’s Party.

Des drove me home. We talked on the way about general stuff, life in the Truth, about Tressie Jones, and about Jeff.

19581120 Thursday – Rosalie’s Party – Well, “tomorrow night” has come and gone. Jeff wasn’t there when I first arrived, and as I didn’t expect him to come until late, I threw myself into enjoying myself. I had three or four games of table tennis with Mr Foster and had a great time playing with him. Jeff arrived during the last couple of games. I was surprised that he was so early. I didn’t say “Hello” to him because I was in the middle of a game. He went over to watch the bowls. Then Mr Foster and I got involved in a game of darts and though we were losing badly at first with a bit of good natured cheating, we eventually won, leaving poor old Bob Martin to recover and console himself with a glass of orange. Then Mr Foster and I challenged Jeff and Des to a game of beach tennis. That was the first contact with Jeff that I had had all evening. Then Mr Foster and I played against John and Phyl at bowls. We lost. My eye was hurting a little bit from the sand that I had got in my eye the night before when I was with Des. I bathed my eye with some stuff Rosalie gave me. She expressed the opinion that things didn’t look as though they were going too well between Jeff and me. Until then that hadn’t even entered my head. I had been too busy playing games and besides, I was used to ignoring Jeff and being ignored by him when we were in public. Then I realised that everyone else thought that Jeff shouldn’t be ignoring me. News had obviously traveled fast about Jeff and me. How do they know these things so soon?

I put it out of my mind and went back to the games. Pam, Rosalie’s young sister took a shine to me and stuck around me most of the time, so I didn’t have much time to think of Jeff. I was having a few hits at beach tennis with her when Elaine Luke came up. She looked terribly upset and angry. I asked her what on earth was the matter? She said, “You want to forget Jeff, Fay.” I looked at her in amazement and asked her what she was talking about. She told me that Jeff hadn’t been near me all the evening and that if I had any sense I’d forget all about him. I laughed and told her that his lack of interest was worrying her more than me. I knew it would be a tragedy to Elaine if the boy she liked didn’t come near her all evening, but then, thinking that made me wonder why my reactions were so different to hers. Why WASN’T I terribly upset that he wasn’t coming near me? And for that matter, why wasn’t he coming near me? I thought about it for a while and I realised that both of us don’t really KNOW how to go together and how to “behave” in public. Going together or not, I thought, I’m bothered if I would want to live in his pocket anyway. I guess I am just not like Elaine. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to console Elaine by telling her that Jeff and I weren’t actually “going together” yet, just considering it. “Besides,” I told her “I went out with Des Manser last night, so I really have no hold on Jeff.” “Jolly good thing” she said, “at least you can rely on Des.” I smiled wryly, she is so right!

Then I passed Jan Randall and Fred Hackett and Jan stopped and grabbed my arm and squeezed it, “Things not going too well tonight, Fay.” I gaped at her. Not her too? Why, O why, can’t people mind their own business? I had felt good up until now, but now I was wondering how Jeff and I both “should” be behaving. Then came supper and we went inside. Jeff stood over one side of the room and I sat over the other with Pam on my lap. The others gathered around the table were Ruth Eakins, Frank Peden, Des Manser, Wendy Jolly, Jan Randall and Fred Hackett, Phyl Matthews and John Knowles, Rosalie Foster and Bob Martin and all of them, Except Wendy, seemed to be “sympathising” with me. You could just feel it. I began to get angry at them for not minding their own business and with Jeff for ignoring me and causing them to feel sorry for me. He could at least have shown a bit of interest, if only to keep them all happy. I should have been pleased, I suppose, to have so many people “plugging for me.” Then I got my back up. I decided I wasn’t going to hang around for Jeff’s good pleasure to take me home. I asked Ruth and Frank for a ride, but they only had the Ute so I asked Des for a ride. He said he would take me home and mumbled something incomprehensible, but certainly uncomplimentary, under his breath about Jeff and his lack of manners. I said goodbye to everyone and started out the door and lo and behold, as soon as I did, Jeff followed behind me. Then he walked beside me, taking it for granted that we would be going home together. Of all the casual and conceited apes! I glared at him and said that I’d better say goodbye to Des because he had offered to drive me home. I walked up to Des and Des gave me a black look and said, “If he is taking you home then I’ll take you BOTH home if you like!!” I liked. Jeff said, “Oh I don’t know…?” “Yes we would like a ride thanks Des,” I said, all the time glaring at Jeff. I just wanted to get home as fast as I could. I got in the front of Des’ car and left Jeff to get in the back. Jeff and Des made “polite” conversation on the way home, talking mainly about talked cars. When we got to my place I asked Jeff if he wanted to come in. I would have liked to talk it all out, but Jeff looked at his watch and said, “It’s rather late,” and I said, “Don’t bother then,” and stormed out of the car. I just about jammed Jeff’s head in the door as he got out to get in the front with Des. He called out “See you later. I muttered under my breath, “The later the better.” I said, “Goodbye” to Des and ignored Jeff. One thing is for sure, Des is nice and Jeff is not, so what was is wrong with me? Do I have some sort of “death wish” that makes me still love Jeff when he is plainly not worthy of my love or any girl’s love for that matter! Anyway, I’m bothered if I’m going to chase Jeff and leave myself open for any more hurt. I could understand it and cope with it if Jeff just dropped me. What I can’t cope with is people pitying me like Elaine did tonight. When Elaine was trying to go with Jeff she chased him pretty obviously and people said it was her fault the way he treated her because she chased him. I must not leave myself wide open to have them say that about me. Why, why can’t I just forget about him. What is wrong with me!!!

19581121 I think I will have to start looking for a new job. RJM has started “hitting on me.” He has been giving me a lot of overtime and he has been, how shall I say, behaving in an inappropriate manner, towards me. It came to a head when we went to his home for his birthday party. He lives on the seafront. He got very drunk and he was really “hitting on me.” It was embarrassing to me and probably to his son Peter as well. It is such a pain, I left The News partly to get away from Bob W. and now RJM as well.

19581125 Letter from my brother Charlie from167 Bayview Ave Undercliff. I don’t know what has got into Charlie. He wrote Dad a letter about wanting all the family to come to Sydney because he has something amazing to show/teach us. We all discussed it and were puzzled by the oblique and mysterious terms he was using to explain why he wanted us to come to Sydney. None of us knew what he was on about, so we worked out what we would do and Dad wrote his reply to Charles and then he go this abrasive letter in response.

Dear Dad and Mum Maynard and Roma Fay and Susanne Joy and the crackpot who told Jeff Berry about all this. Loving greetings to the one who told him and all the rest of you. If I catch the one who did it I will wring his (or her) scrawny neck and give him both halves of a Nelson. Now that I have given vent to my fume and rage, I will return to normal. Thank you for your letter, Dad, but I think you are all a funny crew. Do you think I would use what I wrote as gag to get you over here? That’s not my kind of joke. I have something of great value to offer you and you all nibble at it like finnicky fish in bright sunlight. The reason I put it as vaguely as I did was because I am a lot wiser than you. Excuse the conceit, but it is a fact. I knew that there was more than a 50 /50 chance of someone’s excitement getting the better of them so I gave nothing away. Whoever is responsible for the leakage – or open showing of my letter, cannot keep a trust. Do you think I would ask Roma not to tell her own family, flesh and blood and want you to spread it to others beside such. At the present, I could drop the matter immediately with any sort of excuse – none of you would be any the wiser, nor could you say anything to others which could inconvenience me; and be certain that you have tempted me sore to do so.

As for Jeff! Be sure that he neither sees this letter nor learns its contents. Now that he has been told this much there is nothing that can be done about his coming here. He will be very welcome. I had Jeff in mind, but I wanted him to be told LATER. And without any knowledge that the information originated with me. Your job, all of you, now, is to make very sure that he keeps complete silence. When he comes and it is your duty to see that he comes, now, I will make further arrangements with him concerning that matter personally. Now Roma, I hope you are not deciding to stay because of Jeff’s being told when you could not tell your family. We would dearly like you to come. What I have to show you will be of great benefit to you, especially in view of the baby as you will have more and more limited time to study. If you can possibly, and Susanne could make the journey or perhaps be left in the care of your mother, please make every effort to come. When you come we can make further arrangements with you regarding passing on the information. But in the meantime please keep it very very dark.

Please yourselves, Maynard and Roma, when you come, but Christmas is the best. I will have little, very little time to spend with you in March, and it will be impossible to tell you if other people are present. I wish to avoid all possibility of my name being connected with what you gain from me. I will explain the reason to you all later. Use a bludgeon, Maynard on the rest of this doubting Thomas crew, will you. A trick to get you over, Mum and Roma! When I catch you I‘ll shoot you for saying that. Reverse what I said before. It would be far the best for Jeff to see this letter. It will be well worth your while, Jeff, to come over here. What I have to tell you will make it possible to mark up 4 pages of Hebrews in a day (perhaps). Without a doubt it will assist you immensely to study and to work in all fields. Make every effort to get here. I’ll shoot you too if you don’t now they have told you. Now let’s get down to tin tacks – what I have to show you is foremost a means of an immense increase in both pleasure and profit from study. It can make it positive and certain. It will help you to concentrate and finish forever your going to sleep during study Dad and banish completely your present (or past! I hope) inability to stick to it. Fay (of course, I understand the reason now Fay!! I woke up in a Jeffy! ).

But beside that it is a means to an accurate and amazing power of memory. Now in this is the reason I wanted and still most emphatically demand complete silence on this whole matter. If it becomes known that any one of us has any such knowledge as I will impart to you, the enemies which any faithful servant of Christ must make in the service of the Truth will seize upon it to belittle and subvert his work. (Take good note of this Maynard and Jeff. This you will find most true of yourselves if you let it be known). I gave you before a little information and asked you specifically and directly not to let any hint of it become known and some one, or all of you, I don’t know which, has betrayed my trust. Be very sure that you don’t do it a second time. This is the least service you can do for what I have offered you. We do want you over here at Christmas if it can by any means be arranged, because, as I said, I have holidays then and not again till next November and I wish to do as much as possible to help you grasp the thing firmly. It is worth the effort, Maynard and Roman and Jeff and Mum despite babies and heat and Hebrews in the house. Try to do it if you can, Everyone of you will be thankful if you come.

We both send all our love to you all, hoping you are well and prospering.

Your brother in Christ

Charles.

Don’t any of you get “offended” at the “tone” of this letter, it is both justified and very necessary!!

I just read your letter again (or rather, read it for the first time – Beth read it to me first over the phone) and I’m at present running a steam roller over my hair to settle it down again.

My request was “received with various feelings,” was it? e3I’ll distribute some various feelings when I catch up with you. To decline to come because of impossibility of circumstances (and nothing short of Impossibility should stop any one of you) is one thing, but to do so because of “mixed feelings” or because you doubt the veracity or likelihood, or reasonableness of the offer is more than I can swallow. This about some taking my letter on its face value and some not!! What do you think I am, Tommy Handley? You don’t even realise what you are playing games with. It can make for any one of you all the world of difference in your study and work and pleasure out of life. The sooner you come to hear it the better for yourselves. It is no loss to me if you miss out. I have and use the knowledge daily but to you it is a loss.

There, I leave it with you. You each have the choice to make. You have this letter as you asked by return mail. Let us see if you can each make your decisions as promptly and notify me.

All our love

Signed Charles.

When we got this letter, we were still none the wiser about what on earth it was that Charlie was on about. I was furious that he could write a letter to Dad using such extreme language and saying that he was “wiser than dad” and such. I am so sick of Charlie’s strong influence on Dad. He treats Dad as if he were the child and Charlie was the Father. So I wrote this letter to tell him what I thought of HIS letter.

19581127 Letter to Charles O’Connor from Fay

Dear Charles, When we received your first letter, Charlie, Dad, Maynard and I received it with enthusiasm. I had plans to go away for a much needed rest over Christmas and I scrapped these plans immediately in order to come over to Sydney as you requested. The main obstacle at that time was Mum. Her health has not been too good and the doctor has advised her most earnestly not to make the trip to Sydney. Besides that, she is terrified of traveling the distance from Adelaide to Sydney in hot weather. This proved a great obstacle. Then Roma refused to go. Among her reasons was the fact that five would have to travel in our car, plus the baby, which is as far as I can see, quite reasonable..

We read your letter through again. I don’t know if you recall what was written in your letter, but a vaguer more convoluted letter I have never read. It’s all right from your end. You know what you have in mind. To you it is of the greatest importance, but none of us knows what you are getting at and as Mum was determined not to go unless the reason she was going would be of benefit in the truth, Dad wrote to you asking you to clarify things a little more if that was possible. Now I didn’t read Dad’s letter to you so I don’t know what was in it but I believe he said that Mum and Roma thought “it was just a gag to get us over to Sydney.” From there it was finally decided that Maynard and Roma would not go, much to Maynard’s disappointment. Then Dad suggested that since Maynard and Roma were not going, it might be a good idea if we took Jeff along as relief driver. It was discussed and agreed upon. We showed him your letter which we decided did not give anything away (what could it give away, since we didn’t know what you were on about anyway) but it did seem to indicate that the trip would be well worth his while. As things stand Jeff thinks he will be coming.

But then we received, your latest letter. Whether or not your letter was justified or not, you should never have penned such un-Christlike words. We know what a hothead you are and how often you don’t mean the exaggeratedly hurtful words you say and write, but that is no excuse. Charlie, I was so ashamed of you after reading your letter. You have offended Roma, you have deeply hurt Mum and Dad and you have made me very, very angry at your conceit and pomposity. You need to watch your words very carefully in future. Why do you use such extreme language? You claim that you are wise, wiser than Dad?? but your words show that you are not wise at all, that you are, in fact, a fool. “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of a fool pours out foolishness.” Your words show that you are not wise. The words you spoke are harsh and bitter and not becoming to the lips of a brother in Christ. If you want us all to come to Sydney, we need to have clear reasons as to why we should come.

Your sister,

Fay.

19581129 Saturday – Jeff came to dinner with Lois turner, David Cubbins, Nancy King and Des Manser. Jeff came to supper and told me that he wants me to go with him!!!

19581205 Friday – Bookings for the Messiah.

19581207 Sunday – Jeff and I sat together for the first time at night meeting.

19581213 I am now “officially” going with Jeff , After prize-giving Jeff came home and left very late. We are now going steady. He actually asked me, “Please will you go steady with me Fay?” He said he’d sit with me Sunday – I almost fainted.

19581214 Sunday – Jeff DID sit with me at the morning meeting! A sure sign that we are really “going together.”

19581218 Thursday – Went to Messiah with Jeff at the Town Hall.

19581220 Went to wedding of Jan Randall and Fred Hackett. Well, they finally got their act together and they got married. This will definitely be a good marriage. How could it not be? They are both lovely, lovely people. Jan is the sweetest dearest girl, and Fred has the “Cobbledick” heart, a heart of pure gold. I am so happy for them both.

1959

19590129 Letter to Doug Easom News Ltd.

Dear Mr Easom,

You might think this worthy of a place in the “Odd Spot.” A friend of mine today underwent a rather serious operation. On hearing that it had been successful, I rang the Florist and arranged to have some flowers delivered to the hospital.

About half an hour later I had a horrible thought. I phoned the Florist and feeling slightly ridiculous, changed the order from a wreath to a sheaf of flowers. Not dead yet.

19590123 Letter from Penny-Trent Mind and Memory Development Pty Ltd.

Miss Fay O’Connor, 118 Glen Osmond Road, Parkside, SA. Dear Miss O’Connor

During Mr Penny’s absence I am pleased to acknowledge on his behalf your letter of the 20th January 1959 and accompanying application form – thank you for this, it completes our records. Having started on the “mental filing” cabinet, you will find that this technique can assist you considerably with your Bible studies. It has been used effectively by our Theological Students. No matter what you may be studying, the teaching of Lecture 6 properly understood and applied can be of considerable assistance to you, showing you hot to absorb and retain subject matter. Do please pay particular attention to a small but important paragraph in this lecture concerning the “Tripod” of memory. For your further information, I am quoting from a letter recently received (11/11/58) from one of our students whose needs lay in the same direction as your own:= “Last year I had difficulty in remembering the 53rd Chapter of Isaiah accurately, which has 12 verses. I decided that at the age of 37 ye ars I could expect difficulty. This year, after working with your course I memorised the “Sermon on the mount,” which has 111 verses, in three weeks of spare time. One of my friends testd me out by asking me at random any verse. It was gratifying to find that I made no mistakes.”

I think that you will find the section in Lecture 7 (on technical, academic, unusual names etc) of particular assistance in conjunction with Lecture 3, in the remembering of Biblical Place names, proper names etc.

We look forward to hearing from you again and trust that by now the course is in your possession. Yours sincerely, W Langford Penny.

19590209 Letter from Rick – Dear Fay,
Many thanks for your recent epistles. They were very interesting to me, The answers to your queries in order are:
There are two ways of attacking the states of America. I do not recommend that you learn them. The time spent is rewarded in no way at all, except to confound Jeff with your powers of memory. But the principles involved and illustrated by the example are useful and important. Once your filing cabinet is installed you may attack it this way. Associate Book with Alabama and then go on without further ado to associate Clam with Arizona, then Dog with Arkansas. The great principle of “things associated together tend to remain in the memory, and its companion, “Recall of one picture automatically brings back every associated detail” then comes to your assistance.

By recalling BOOK, instantly floods back your picture of Alabama: recall of Clam recalls with it your associated picture of Arizona, and so you continue for the next 47 states. As you will readily apppreciate, this is the slowest way of recall. Its advantage is that it permits you to remember lists of infinite length in perfect consecutive order. But you must first visualise BOOK in order to remember Alabama, so with Arizona, Arkansas, California, etc. Consequently it slows you considerably.

In committing to memory such a list, this is the best way to go about it. If it is necessary to remember it in consecutive numerical order, and to be able to recall no 1, no 27, no 18, etc, in the list, then begin by associating the first item with the first file, then the second item with the second file and so on. Then if you wish to be able to recall them quickly in order without the necessity of first recalling the mental files, go through and associate the second item with the first, the third with the second, the fourth with the third and so on to the end. Alabama with Clam, Clam with Arizona, Arizona with Dog, Dog with Arkansas, Arkansas with Lion etc. The result of that would eventually be confusion, never knowing whether no 2 was Alabama or Arizona, since Clam is associated with both.

With regard to your phone extensions, it is a good idea to use the filing cabinet for such a purpose, as over the period of months it will save you an immense amount of time which would otherwise be spent in referring to the list, but…you must make very sure that you doo not draw attention to yourself by so doing. Use it. Use it in everything, but never display it at all. I am very pleased that you have been able to help Mum. She will get into the way of it very quickly if you help her to apply it in the elementary stages. Once a little success comes she will gain in confidence and go ahead in leaps and bounds. Try to make sure that you do your “standing over her with a hammer” pleasant and kindly so that you help her primarily to enjoy using and developing her powers of mind and memory. One thing I had little time to emphasise while I was over with you in Adelaide w as that this exercise in using your memory in the right and natural way speedily develops its powers. It will make you all, age is the last of all things to affect it adversely, mentally alert and keenly conscious of everything about you. It is considered a proven fact these days from the psychological studies that have born this system that your mental capacities are still increasing right up to the age of 40 years and after that for a long time you are on the crest of the wave. Any sign of mental decline, sickness excepted,d need not come for another 30 years after that. Most people use only a tenth of their brain power and leave the other 90% to stagnate, in which lies the reason for the early decline, or apparent decline of their powers. But the brain is so resilient that after a lifetime of unenlightened use it still responds marvelously to the regenerating power of using it rightly as we have shown you how.
Symbols for Genesis, Exodus, etc in my little system are formed generally upon sound, but where that fails as it often does, upon meaning. Genesis is Janice, Beth’s sister. Exodus is door for obvious reasons. Leviticus is Leaf, Numbers is abacus, an ancient counting instrument. So it goes on a little ingenuity and you will have a complete list in no time.

Your next query, Fay, will take a little bit of answering. But I think you will find the advice I have to give will save you a lot of wasted energy indeed.d To begin it in the way you have will inevitably leave many blanks in the finished product. Let me first describe the way to attack such a project. That in itself will answer most of your queries without specific treatment of them. Begin by taking a lesson at a time. It will be better in this way because by taking it lesson headings first you have to invent symbols for the headings, whereas by the way I will show you most of them will quite naturally occur during the other part of the job. So then, a lesson at a time. With the first lessons, commence by reading it through once to “get the gist’ of it, so that you now where you are going. Then return to the beginning and read it again at your own natural pace, don’t try to hurry it, with your conscious mind at the controls, consciously visualising it all as you go. Stop wherever necessary to reason anything out thoroughly, go to the scriptures quoted and treat them in the same way, reason, visualise, try to thoroughly grasp them. Then continue on to the end of the lesson, getting the facts in this fashion. When you have done this, you will be able to give the lesson in your ow words, omitting no important detail, but the results are not permanent. So the next steep is to go through and select the main points and make a list of them. Then take the first main point and Associate it with a picture that your study has suggested for a heading or title to the lesson, then associate the second main point with the first, the third with the second, the fourth with the third and so to the end. Then when you need to recall the lesson, recall of the lesson heading recalls the first main point and all associated details culled from your first getting the facts. The first main point will recall the second and it will recall all its associaed detail. The second main point will recall the third, and so on.

The next step is to repeat the performance with the next lesson. You will then have to choose a picture to represent Lesson 1 and another to represent Less 2. Associate them together and lo, lesson 1 as soon as you bring to mind its picture, automatically brings to mind your picture for lesson 2, and the first main point and all its associated detail, and your picture for the second main point, and all its details and so on. And on and on. And why? Because you have learned to harness your powers of ind and memory, by controlled visualisation and Association.

You will see that I have omitted the complicated system of 1,2,3,4,5,6, (a), (b),(c) etc. To my way of thinking they are just useless paraphernalia which consume valuable time and only serve to obscure the cardinal and valuable point to grasp, comprehension is the thing to seek. Things truly comprehended remain in the memory even if you know nothing about how to harness your powers of memory. But it is a marvelous thing, but only to be expected nonetheless, that the basis of Memory is also the basis of oour reasoning capacities as well. All the ideas with which we think have their basis firmly rooted in concrete visualiseable things, actions, or states of mind. There is nothing to which the mind cannot make a controlled harnessed response. Take any abstract term at all. What about “benevolence?” You cannot visualise or picture a benevolence. It is not a concrete thing. You try to visualise “benevolence.” You have not any single picture that answers to the word. Of course you have not! Because benevolence is only a word applied to the mental attitude of a person who is noted for the performance of a series of kindly ACTIONS. So to visualise “Benevolence, your mental vision must, because it has no other course, rehearse before your mental eye benevolent actions. Thus begins the first of many important scriptural lessons, ie. That all Bible things are intended to be practically applied. By being obliged to picture benevolence, love, kindness, purity, virtue, nobleness, pity, compassion, consideration etc. And realising that it must be done through the picture of actions, which are the solid factual background of every abstract matter, you are brought instantly face to face with what others often have to waste a lifetime before they truly grasp the. Bible advice and command must be converted into action.

The power that you gain from applying such a realisation to your studies in living the truth yourself is little short of marvelous. This is the way God intended his Scriptures to be studied. For you Jeff, it will impart certainty, and an essential vividness to your exposition and exhortation that will have the power to both instruct and attract. The important thing is that, studying this way you instruct and attract yourself to the true appreciation of the Word first of all. And so you go on, Fay, until you have mastered each lesson and grasped the scriptural background of it and committed to memory the years lessons. We can say a word about retaining the lot once learned, no. Memory stands upon 3 legs. I will cite them in the order of their importance. They are Impression, Association and repetition. The first two requirements we have already satisfied. The third, repetition, we must now attend to. Repetition as I use the term is not what it was to us while at school. It is not “Magna Charta, 1215, John died in 1216.” Etc. Not at all where your mind is on tennis or painting, or making a model airplane, or on swimming, where the words go on and on without your mind being on the job. I mean intelligent repetition. We assume you have used d”Controlled Visualisation to make a good lively vivid impression and harnessed your powers of association to ensure accuracy and ease of recall, now all that you need to do to satisfy the needs of repetition, to strengthen the impression and fix it indelibly upon your mind, is consciously to repeat that interesting and effective process. Revise each lesson a week after the first learning, then a month after,and then “forget” it till the end of the year when revise it once again at speed by the same process and get 100%. But remember that these things are for use in living the Truth all the year.
Now that is enough writing for about three months or more, so I will leave you to it, and wait to hear from you what sort of results you achieved. Give my respects to your handsome suitor.
Both of us on this side of the world send whole buckets of luv.
Your brother in the hope of Israel,
Charles.

195904ish My brother Maynard has had a nervous breakdown. Don’t know what is the cause or what to do. He has been behaving very strangely. He doesn’t sleep, he talks non-stop, his brain seems to have speeded up and he is inventing a billion inventions. It has thrown the family into a turmoil. He knocked Jeff down with his fist. Maynard is so very strong. Roma is distraught and so is everyone really. Don’t know what to do.

19590406 21st birthday John Knowles invite – The Aunties and Uncles request the pleasure of the Company of Jeff and Fay on the occasion of the 21st Birthday of John Knowles as the Methodist Hall Hawkers Rod Croydon April 6th 1959, Mr and Mrs DA Brown, 60 Henry St Croydon Park. RSVP March 30th

19590421 Letter to Fay from Keith Noble on Mental Hospital Northfield letterhead- Dear Fay, Just a few lines in answer to your very welcome letter. I’m glad to hear that Jeff is devoting his energy towards such a great cause and I’m sure that in the end when this is all over he will be well rewarded.

I wish I could be of some help myself but Id am afraid I’m nothing else but a dead loss. Ron is taking a very keen interest in the Scriptures and has been reading several of the books which I accumulated at home. I think if he knocks around with the right company long enough and uses his commonsense, he can’t fail in taking the right road. He’s developed a very close friendship with Graham Ide and Mum says they get along fine together. Mum and Dad seem to like him a lot too, judging by what they’ve told me. Denise Kirkland that’s the girl who lives across the road from us is infatuated with Graham (ever since the night they were introduced) and now every time that Graham calls in at home to see Ron, Denise always seems to find some excuse to be at our place at the same time. I think that’s real amusing don’t you.

I’m very sorry to hear that John has been sick and I hope that by the time this letter reaches you he’s feeling a lot better and well on the road to recovery. Jeff told me that he had a touch of hepatitis and was suffering from migraine hesdaches butt I’ve been told that they are very bad to have so you can tell John if you see him he’s got my deepest sympathy and I sincerely hope he’s better. I suppose I should have written him a letter but I’m afraid I didn’t know what to say. Elaine Luke sent me an invitation to her 21st birthday but I’m afraid I never acknowledged it. I hope she doesn’t get the wrong idea and think that I was deliberately being rude. Will you please tell her I’m very sorry and I hope she had a very nice party. Well I’m afraid I’ll have to close now as I’m running out of information.
Yours sincerely,

Keith,
Please excuse blots, the blotter is not good.

19590211 Jeff’s tetanus immunisation –

19590424 Jeff’s immunisation

19590427 Jeff’s Polio shots

19590505 Jeff’s Chest Xray –

19590502 Letter from Ken Niejalke, 8 Albert Rd West Moonah Tasmania- to Sis Jean O’Connor, 118 Glen Osmond Road Parkside.

Dear Sister O’Connor, Greetings in Christ Jesus our Saviour. I received your lovely letter yesterday ad was very pleased to hear from you again. Thanks for the good wishes. My conscience was more than pricked though, because I should have written to you months ago but as Mum may have told you, I am finding life far from dull here in Hobart. The first breaking of bread meeting I had here was with one Sister, now there are five sisters. Four are elderly, but the other is a young woman and her husband also knows the Truth, having been brought up in a Christadelphian home in England, where they both came from. I am hoping he may soon make the decision for baptism. They have six young children, four of Sunday School age. The little grandson of another Sister is receiving correspondence lessons from Adelaide although they are a bit advanced for him, I am watering them down a little for him. While waiting for lessons to arrive for the other children I am doing my best for them from the lessons I have. There are various contacts who have written in to various ecclesias living in Southern Tasmania, but time won’t allow me to call on them all.

I am visiting an elderly couple about 35 miles out in the country who are keen Bible students. They have read a lot of our literature. The lady for many years, but the man still favors one or two 7th Day Adventist doctrines. However, he is not dogmatic and is willing to debate and question, and use the Bible as the guide. Being a bit of a novice, they can get me a little confused by taking some verses out of contest to seemingly prove their point. Still, the experience is doing me good (I’d like to see all other Christadelphian young people go through it) and this couple want me to continue visiting them. I have planned to go again next Saturday. One of the sisters here has accompanied me. There are two elderly ladies who went to a lecture we had here in February, I have been trying to arrange an evening with, but have been unable to do so because of their poor health. They had previously been contacted by your Sis Hale. I also looked up another contact, a young chap of 19 or 20 and had several encouraging discussions with him and thought he was to the point of some very earnest discussion, butt the Plymouth Brethren whom he was meeting with have “drawn him back into their fold.”

The brethren from Launceston are now going to maintain a monthly visit to Hobart (DY) and the ones coming tomorrow have agreed to also give a public lecture, for which we have been preparing. We had a little ad in today’s and last Saturday’s paper, also had 500 leaflets printed and distributed. One of the sisters told me Friday she had and interested friend she hoped to bring along tomorrow. It is a pity we are not able to call on the other contacts, but I suppose it is better to do a little well, the a lot, poorly, ad least to aim for that. We could certainly do with reinforcements! Pauline and I have agreed ow that we are willing to make our home in Hobart for the purpose of furthering the Truth here. Since being here though, I have lodged applications for several positions in my job back in Victoria, but I am rather junior to be considered for any of them. Still, we shall have to wait a little while and see the outcome of them, and pray that whatever God sees is best will come about. If it is that we stay in Hobart, we shall be sending out a definite call for assistance so tell Fay and Jeff not to start getting any settled ideas yet. I’m very pleased to hear that they are going steady, but at times I envy the young couples being near each other. But really we don’t lose anything in this life which shall not be well and truly made up for us later, if we are worthy.

I was very sorry to hear about Maynard’s having a breakdown. I do hope he is much better now. Give him my regards please, also his wife, I’ve just forgotten her name.
I had a letter from Mum (Topsy Niejalke) yesterday saying she is feeling very well. It almost brought tears of happiness to my eyes, because she hasn’t been a bit well for so long. I am thrilled to think that God willing, she will be with you next weekend.
Well my dear Sister, I must close now. Give my regards to Bro O’Connor, Fay and Jeff, also Des Manser and the other young people I know (now that’s a task).
May the richest blessings of Almighty God direct you all in the way you should go.
Your brother in the bonds of the Gospel, Ken Niejalke.

19590518 Letter to Jeff from Fay – Dear Jeff, I ‘m missing you!!! Well the Marysville Conference has come up to all expectations and I’m having a wonderful time. I am associating with heretics as usual – Barrie Stretton and his girlfriend, Rhonda Bowen. Eric Mansfield, Keith Cook, Robin Mansfield and his latest, Jeannette somebody- or- other. Don McColl and – oh, that’s about all. We were instructed to circulate for meals but somehow we have stuck and Barrie, Eric, Rhonda, Don, Cookie and I keep to our own table. For many reasons :1. Birds of a feather flock together, we like the company and the waitress, she’s a doll (at least the boys think so). I’m avoiding all cameras and trying hard to behave. We had our first study group today on “Faith” and strangely enough it went very well. Peter Weller was our study group leader. He wasn’t marvelous but the “lead” left his hands after he introduced each phase of the subject and some good discussion took place. Jimmy Green added quite considerably to the standard of the discussion. Eventually the group agreed on my definition of “faith” which I had culled from various of the Pioneer’s work and had typed out. There was a girl from New Zealand there who didn’t have very well defined ideas of faith. She seemed to believe more in blind faith in God and his power and wouldn’t admit the need for any basis of knowledge in faith. Eventually she conceded that faith includes a belief that God is and that he has a purpose with mankind. Anyway we had some very good discussion.

Time of writing next portion of letter – Much, much later! I am trying to get this written but the conference doesn’t leave much time to breathe let alone to write letters. This evening (Monday) We had talks by representatives of various States on Youth Activities. There were some terrific displays of the work being done. Adelaide of course had the Daniel charts plus some charts made up by Des and Brian Manser on GES work, The Advertiser advertisement etc. Sydney had a display of their work in the form of slides on the Tabernacle. Tape recordings were played of portions of the lectures which are sent to brethren and sisters in isolation.

Wilma Galbraith gave an illustrated talk on the gospel proclamation campaign that groups of YF run in their holidays in England – A good evening. Keith Cook gave a talk on leadership and the workings of an ecclesia. A good night. So far the standard has been quite high.

I ‘m just starting to get my voice back. Coming over in the train and for the next couple of days I couldn’t speak an audible word. I managed a few now and again – for instance when I woke up in the train in the morning, I managed to say, 1,2,3,4,5.6,7,8,9.10, Testing. I thought that was quite an achievement. Everyone at the conference was so pleased to know I had laryngitis and now I’m regaining my voice they are being most impolite.

Much Later again…. I‘m getting a little further in my efforts to communicate with Adelaide – I have sent a telegram, so don’t despair. Again, much later. I misbehaved last night and I was trying so hard to be good while my laryngitis lasted. I can croak now. They have broken our table up and for the first meal we have had to sit at “foreign” tables. Didn’t have half as much fun! Oh well, they can’t stop us getting around together. I am having a terrific time. I guess if I am ever to get this posted I had better finish it now. I’ve wished again and again that you were here. You would like the crowd I am going with and I feel jealous of Barrie and Ronda being able to be at the conference together,

See you soon Jeff,

Love, Fay.

19590520 letter from Mum to Fay – Dearest Fay, I have just a quarter of an hour to catch the air mail so the PO told me so I’ll be brief. We were getting worried about you and were relieved and pleased to get your wire. Jeff was here Monday night and seemed a little disappointed because he had not received word. I phoned him as soon as he got home about your wire but I think he was disappointed that you had not sent him a personal wire or letter (he did not say so, I merely surmised it) so you had better get cracking and write him don’t you think?

Glad you are enjoying yourself, I hoped you would, but don’t neglect Jeff, Fay, you won’t get another boy as nice as him in a life time! I have been in bed more or less since Friday night but I am up and about again now.

All the best, Mum.