The Blacksmith’s Daughter by Fay Berry 2013 © – Chapter 21 – 19550910

My brother Charles had gone to Sydney to live and while he was there he was introduced by David and Wendy Pogson to Beth Joseph. They promptly, as the Pogson’s had hoped, fell in love and Beth was going to be coming to Adelaide to live with our family until they married.

It was Royal Show time again, and Nancy King and I were spending as much time as possible going to the show to meet up with the Wurfel family once more. We used to spend a lot of time hanging out at the Wurfel’s “locker” and got to meet all the country boys who came down to the show to show their horses.

Jacky was a boy from Minnipa. He said he was engaged but he certainly didn’t let that stop him from flirting with any girl that was available, and some of the time, that was Nancy and me. At least that was until Colleen Robjohns turned up, and then all eyes were focussed on her and Nancy and I ceased to exist!!  We both felt a bit miffed.

I led Ballville Renown in the Grand Parade and I so loved doing that. It was so exciting with all the lights and music and the beautiful animals walking in a huge circle around the oval. There was one evening at the show when everyone decided to go to the movies together and I thought that I was going to be partnered by Ken and was delighted with the prospect, but it didn’t turn out as I expected. There was confusion in my mind for the rest of the night as I did not know who I was supposed to be going with and in the end it was Jeff Clift that partnered me. I didn’t know whether Jeff had just “pushed in” between Ken and me, or whether Ken had chosent to go with Nancy instead. I was very miserable about this. I reckon Shakespeare could have written a play about the confusion that occurred on this night. Nancy was trying to “swap” with me because she knew how much I wanted to go with Ken, but I wouldn’t let her, so I not only made myself miserable, but ended up making Nancy miserable as well.

At school the following day I was in a state of the miseries and ended up in the sick room crying on Wendy Swain’s shoulder about the tragedy of my love life. The one Wurfel I could easily have had as my boyfriend was Ian Wurfel but I snubbed him rather rudely I’m afraid. I also gave Jeff Clift a hard time as well.

A very appropriate song for me would have been,”I’m going to wash that man right out of my hair,” but instead of that I showed my misery and displeasure at how I was feeling because of Ken by cutting my hair into a fringe. I know I wanted to cut something. Well, I paid for that too. My father was not pleased one little bit and he got quite irate about it. What my cutting my hair had to do with him, I could not work out, because it was MY hair! But cutting it did express and release some of my angst.

At school their was a rush of exams and then some sports matches and finally days at the beach to recover and get burnt.

It was at this time that my brother Charlie (Rick to Sydneysiders) announced his engagement. Dad took Nancy and me to visit friends of his from Pinnaroo who had a farm a few miles out from Victor Harbor also during these holidays. To this day, I don’t know who his friends were but I know they kept a few goats in their back yard.

I also commenced bible studies with with Old Pa Harris. I went to him, so I thought, to learn how to argue with my school friends on bible doctrines, but I soon discovered that this was not all what Pa Harris had in mind. He wanted me to learn about the overall teaching of the Bible to eventually lead me to baptism. Of course, that is what did eventually happen and I was baptised when I was around 16 years of age.

Then Roma Wilson and my brother Maynard got engaged. It has turned out to be a very very busy year indeed.

I had my 16th birthday on 28th November 1955 and it was held in our lounge room at 118 Glen Osmond Road Parkside. I had been attending Woodville ecclesia with my brother Charles and so the Christadelphians that I invited were all from Woodville and there were few of the young folk from Adelaide. I was horrified that the Woodville Young People seemed to have no idea how to entertain themselves. Such a birthday party in my brothers time would have had mostly people from Adelaide and they certainly knew how to entertain themselves. Someone would play the piano and everyone would sing and everyone would know the words of the songs and they would know some skits and people like Max Kennett and Ray Frankham would liven things up, the the Woodvillites had none of those skills. All through the night I was frantically thinking up games and playing records to amuse them. When they all left at the end of the night I went back in to the lounge and burst into tears I was so sure the night had been an abject disaster. To my amazement the next day everyone was telling me what a wonderful time they had “best party or social evening they had EVER been to!!!”

Walter Pearce had been staying with us at the time so he had played for us a couple of times and when he went home he and his sister Sylvia corresponded with me for some time after that.

I won a consolation prize at Sunday School in a tie with Phyllis Matthews.

Then It was the last last day at school. My school years eneded in a flurry of autographs and hugs and tears and my “real” life, my mother told me, had begun. It was hard to believe that my childhood was over and that my carefree (carefree?) irresponsible days of school and study and exams were over and now who knows what was in store for me in the days ahead.

How will my life go from here? I thought. I thought of the song Que Sera, Sera.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.“Will I be happy, will I be sad?

Here’s what she said to me,
Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be,
the future’s not ours to see,
Que sera, sera.
Childhood’s End!

DIARY ENTRIES

19550910 Saturday – I hope Beth Joseph, my brother’s girlfriend is nice! Charlie met her in Sydney. He was introduced to her by David and Wendy Pogson. Her father and mother live on farm at “Shipton” Cobbitty, Camden, NSW and she has 11 brothers and sisters. She is supposed to be very nice but we shall see.

Nancy is staying at our place and this morning Nancy and I went into town early and when she went to work I went off to the show. Ian Wurfel is coming to the show later. I don’t want to spend all day with him, I like him, but he seems to take things for granted. I don’t know how he got the idea that I am his girlfriend but I will have to discourage that notion. When I arrived at the locker all the boys were cleaning up the horses and before I knew where I was, Jacky (one of the Wurfel’s friends from the country) had come up and was trying to prove how good a shave he had today by rubbing his cheek against mine. He’s mad as a hatter, but he’s terrific fun. He is engaged to a girl at Minnipa but the way he has been carrying on here, flirting with all the girls, well you wouldn’t know it. I get caught in the most awkward positions sometimes. One of the girls from school turned the corner into the stables just as Jacky had picked me up and set me on his lap. Who know what she though. He’ll be getting me a bad reputation if I am not careful.

Nancy King, Mum and Ian Wurfel came at dinner time and Ian tried to go with me but I didn’t let him. Colleen Robjohns turned up this morning of course, she stole the show as usual and before she left she had been promised a horse to lead in the parade (the horse I was supposed to be leading most probably).

Nancy and I were feeling a bit downhearted because she always takes the limelight. Why do some girls seem to have everything? She used to go to a College, Widerness I think it was, but her parents took her out of there and sent her to Unley High School. I don’t know whether they couldn’t afford the College education any more or what was the reason she came to Unley High.

After the parade Mr Wurfel, Nancy, Keith, Max and a few others went to the football. We piled into two taxis and careered off to the Adelaide Oval and watched Sturt win against Torrens.

We lost lost Ken, Keith and Max during the afternoon and afterward were walking back into town and as we passed the city baths, we met up with them all again. We walked back to Currie Street and caught the bus to the show grounds. When we got there we found Mrs Wurfel and Mum still there and Mum asked me where Nancy was and when I told her that she had gone home to get ready for the choral class concert, Mum decided to stay at the show because it would be too late for her to go home now.

We had tea and then the boys went out to play football and Mum, Mrs Wurfel and Mrs Bennett (who had come down for the day from Pinnaroo bringing Trevor and Max with them) went for a walk to see the cooking etc. Then I, Mr Wurfel, Mrs Bennett and the man Trevor had stayed with when he came down for cricket,went to watch the trotting. I wasn’t feeling much like staying to watch that for long, so I left them and went to the locker to sit down. When I got there I found that Graham was still there so I thought it would be all right for me to stay for a while. The boys began to get a bit mischievous after a while. They were dashing around the place and mucking around and Graham didn’t think it right for me to be there and I went back to Mr Wurfel and the others for a while.

I began to feel cold soon, so Mr Wurfel and the others came back with me while I got my coat, but the locker was shut, so Mr Wurfel climbed over the roof and got my coat that way. Trevor and his boy friend came back then and it was decided to go and look at the sideshows. There wasn’t much there though because the place was just crowded out. I was feeling rather miserable again and I was just longing for Ken and by the time we got back to the locker again I was dog tired and I felt just terrible.

Mrs Wurfel, Mrs Bennett and Mum were back at the stables then and I went inside and lay down for a while and all the others were just sitting outside. Jacky came along soon and he asked who was in the locker and when they told him that I was there he came in and talked to me. Someone then made some remark and Mrs Wurfel locked Jacky in the locker with me and then he started to tickle me to make me laugh, to “make it sound good” to those listening outside.

Lin took ages to come round with the Mercedes and by the time he got there I was practically dead. I was feeling rather miserable because I hadn’t seen much of Ken and I still wasn’t sure whether he liked me or not. I felt a bit happier because before the car left, Ken asked me if I was coming again and he seemed really glad when I said, “Yes.” When we got home, Mum came into my room and we found Nancy in bed with her nose all plugged up. She had had a very bad nosebleed and she looked as sick as anything and she said she hadn’t been able to go to the choral class concert after all. We felt dreadful because while we had been at the show, she had been home with that terrible nose bleed.

19550911 Sunday – Nancy and I stayed in bed for ages this morning and about a quarter to one I decided to go to have my bath and wash my hair. I rushed like mad to get ready to go to Sunday School and I just made it on time. Ian Wurfel and Dad went with us in the car to Sunday School but after that they went for a drive with a promise that they would all be back afterward.

After Sunday School we went home in the car and we played a game of scrabble until dinner time and when dinner was over we were at a loss as to what to do. It was decided eventually to go for a walk, so Graham, Nancy, Ian and I went for a walk up to the Glenunga Oval and around the Mental Hospital. It was good fun but we were rather scared that Nancy’s nose would start to bleed again, but it didn’t thank goodness. We had a fairly early night for a change and did I need the rest.

19550912 Monday – This has been the most confused and miserable day I have ever experienced and I never want to go through anything like it again. Maybe one day soon I‘ll look back and laugh at myself but I’m afraid I don’t feel much like laughing now. I went to the show grounds with Ian Wurfel but this time we didn’t walk off anywhere we just stayed in the stables. As usual, Jacky and the others were mucking around like anything and at least I enjoyed myself in the morning. I went into the sheep pavilion once and I saw Uncle John Critchley there and we talked for a short while and he told me to come around after the judging but it was so hot I couldn’t stand the place inside so I didn’t go until later, but then I missed him.

Nancy came at about two o’clock and we kicked around together for a while, but when we came back, Ken and Jeff Clift took us up to the milk bar and we had a drink. When we came back, everyone was getting ready for the Grand Parade and it turned out that I was to lead a horse in it. I forget whose horse it was but it had three Seconds Ribbons and was a good horse. Jacky and another boy were ahead of me and they kept a good eye on me all the time. My horse pulled a bit but otherwise it went well, except that it ran a pair of my stockings. I can’t exactly remember things in the order they happened but I think it was before the parade not after when this happened. I remember Jeff Clift said something about them all going to the pictures and Ken said “Oh yes,” and then he spoke to me and told me that they were going to the pictures that night, but I wasn’t quite sure if he was asking me to go with him or not so I didn’t say anything, I just nodded my head and I left it to him to invite me properly (the more fool I). A few minutes later we went into the locker and he sat on the top bunk and got the paper and showed me what was on. It seemed pretty obvious (so I thought) that he was asking to take me to the pictures and I was thrilled to bits. We just sat there and talked for a while and once again I felt positive that he liked me.

After the parade I wasn’t feeling too good so I went to the locker and lay down. Ken came in a little later and got the football but I still lay there. A little later I got up and went to Jacky‘s locker and sat on a bale of hay outside and talked to the others. I still wasn’t feeling too good, so Jeff got me some asprins and I took them and a little later went to the locker to lie down again. Jeff Clift came down a little later to see how I was feeling and he sat in the doorway and talked to me for ages. We talked mainly about school and sport and in the course of the conversation he asked if I was going to the pictures tonight. I said,”Yes,” because I thought I was going with Ken and that was the start of the mess.

I’ve remembered another thing I forgot now. When we went up to get the drink (Nancy wasn’t there then) we went to the mound to see one of the boys they knew riding in the jumping events. We all sat on the balcony around the band stand and I sat next to Ken. Once again I was sure Ken liked me, just through movements and actions and things he said. I had my locket on with the picture of Ken in it and Jeff wanted to see it but I wouldn’t let him. He asked Ken to get It and he said “all right, just give me a few days,” and the look he gave me then just seemed to say that he’d like a few days in my company, and by that time I’d be quite willing to show him what was in my locket. Just how mistaken can a person be, though I find it hard to believe that I was so mistaken.

Getting back to where I was before, I began to feel better after a while and I got up and went down to the other locker. Ken and Jacky were there and Jacky as usual was in a mad mood. He asked me if I would go to the pictures with him (the only one who had the guts to ask me outright) and when I told him that I was already going, he kept trying his hardest to get me to tell him who I was going with and trying to persuade me to change my mind. He was as funny as a fit and when he left to do something with the horses, I said to Ken, “Who am I going with Ken?” and he just lay down on the bed and mumbled something and I waited for a while and then I went out feeling terrible. On looking back I think Ken must have thought I wanted to go with Jeff because Jeff was hanging around me all the time and I wasn’t at all reserved with him whereas I was with Ken because I like him so much. When we left for the pictures it soon became obvious that I was going with Jeff. I felt terrible. I would have loved to go away and hide. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so miserable in all my life, but I had to go through with it, so I did. Nancy was feeling terrible too because she knew how I had been looking forward to going with Ken.

After we had got our tickets we went to a milk bar and had something to drink. I forget what I had because I didn’t t taste it and then we went back to the theatre. Nancy went and sat down first which put me between both Ken and Jeff and in a way I wished She hadn’t done it because it was agony sitting next to Ken and knowing I was with Jeff. About half way through Jeff put his arm around me and I felt like screaming. It just seemed to me too ironical. I kept wondering what Ken was thinking, did he like me or didn’t he? What did he think now Jeff had his arm around me? I tried to stop thinking about it, but the thoughts just kept writhing around in my mind until I felt exhausted.

At last I said to Jeff, “I ‘m not cold, Jeff, so you don’t need to keep me warm.” What a brutal thing to say and he replied. “I wasn’t aware that I was keeping you warm.” Then I felt terrible. I knew I had to start doing some explaining, so I took off my locket and showed him Ken’s photo. He still didn’t understand so I explained everything to him and then he said it was all his fault and I felt worse still. He told me that Ken had asked him to make sure Nancy came so Jeff had taken it that he wanted to go with Nancy. My heart sank and I just didn’t know what to think or do.

At interval we got up and went out, just Jeff and I and then I explained everything as it had happened and then for some reason when I thought that Ken just didn’t like me I sort of thought I did like Jeff and I didn’t realise then that it was just a rebound. Anyway by the time we got back into the pictures the film had Started, and I had persuaded Jeff that it didn’t matter that Ken didn’t like me and that I did like Jeff. I do some mad things sometimes.

When we got inside I saw that Ken had his arm around Nancy and any vestige of hope I had left just vanished and I really began to believe that I liked Jeff. He put his arm around me again and I watched Ken more that evening than I watched the film. I didn’t want to be selfish so I told Nancy afterward what had happened and told her that Ken liked her so she wasn’t to think that I minded if she showed that she likes Ken. I was positive that she liked Ken because I couldn’t imagine anyone not liking him, bu it didn’t dawn on me that she just wasn’t interested in him. When we got in the taxi to go home, Ken got in first, Nancy second, then me and then Jeff. Jeff once again put his arm around me and Ken just put his arm along the back of the seat, but Jeff caught hold of his wrist and pulled his arm around onto Nancy’s shoulders so he put his arm around her properly then. I would have given a lot to change places with Nancy and suddenly the stupidity of the whole thing struck me and I started to laugh though I felt more like crying.

When we got home we made hurried arrangements to go to the show the next day and then we got out and they took the taxi back to the show grounds. Then Nancy and I went inside and I endeavored to make her understand that it was all right by me if she liked Ken because he liked her but she just wouldn’t believe that I could forget Ken just like that.

At last we went to bed but I just couldn’t sleep so I went out to the kitchen to get some aspirins and Mum must have heard me again because she came into the kitchen and asked what had happened and although I hadn’t intended to tell her anything, very soon it all came out. I went to bed again all dosed up with aspirin and slept most of the night. Why did all this have to happen. I tried not to like Ken, but I didn’t succeed.

19550913 Tuesday – I went to school today, but it was dreadful because everyone kept asking me how I had enjoyed my holiday and I had to keep on evading their questions and pretending that I had enjoyed myself, pretending that I was happy when all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out.

I kept on worrying about what I was to do about Jeff Clift, what I was to say to him and how I was to tell him that I still liked Ken and it had only been on the rebound when I had though I liked him.

By the time choir lesson came I was feeling terrible so I went into the sick room and started to write up my diary because I thought it might clear my mind a bit if I wrote it all down, but it was agony to do it and when Wendy Swain came into the room and made some bright remark about my diary, it was just too much and I burst out crying and I cried and cried and just couldn’t stop.

Poor Wendy wondered what she had said to make me so upset and at last I told her and just then, in walked Miss Grosvenor and asked what was wrong and I just told her I wasn’t feeling well, but the wise old coot guessed I was upset about something and gave me some Salvolatale to settle my stomach. I stayed there until dinner time but I ‘d had enough of it by then so I asked Miss Grosvenor if I could go home.

When I arrived home, Nancy rang up and said she would be coming home because she wasn’t feeling well either. Two bright sparks! All that was wrong with both of us is that we had been worrying about last night. We both had a rest in the afternoon but like a pair of fools we went to the show again in the evening. We arrived at the stables and met Mrs Wurfel sitting on the bales of hay outside of Jacky ‘s locker. We went for a walk with her and looked at the Wedding cakes etc. I was tired out and wasn’t feeling like walking but I couldn’t say anything. By the time we got back it was time for the parade and I was leading the horse again. It was beaut fun this time because I had got the hang of how to lead it properly and I really enjoyed it. Jacky as usual turned round now and then to see how I was getting on, but the horse was no trouble at all.

After the parade, the boys took Nancy and me up to the milk bar to get a drink and from there we went for a walk. Nancy didn’t have a jumper on and was beginning to get cold so as much as I didn’t want to lose the others, we went back to get my jumper for Nan to wear. When we had got it we went in search of the others again but we soon gave that up for it was hopeless. Our feet were as tired as anything so we went into the stand and sat down for a while but we soon got bored with that and went back to the stables.

Someone asked us if we were looking for “those guys” and I didn’t want it thought that we were chasing them (even if we were) and so we went off again but as we walked past the Advertiser Office we saw them and so we went over and joined them again. Nancy of course kept trying to maneuver it so I was standing next to Ken but I wasn’t going to push myself in so I maneuvered myself out again but all the time I felt as miserable as could be.

We went into the Advertiser office and Nan and I sat down for a while but then the boys began to sign their names in the visitors’ book so Nan and I did too. In the remarks column I put “je ne sais pas” and then they told me to put something down in shorthand so I wrote “I love Ken” in shorthand and how I meant it. It’s lucky Ken doesn’t read shorthand. When we got back to the stables I was feeling utterly miserable and while we were there I intercepted what I think was an adoring glance directed at Nan by Ken, which only made me feel worse. It seemed to me that all the Wurfels were keen on Nancy and I felt out of it. I know now that it was just because I looked miserable that they left me alone. Next time perhaps I’ll know better.

Eventually Graham came along and was I relieved to see him. I felt quite all right (almost) then because I could just sit down and watch proceedings. Jacky was tying all the horses decorations on Nancy which was causing the boys some considerable amusement. I wish I could live Monday and Tuesday over again because I’d do things differently then but it’s all past and gone now.

At about ten o‘clock Lin came and I talked to him for a while but then Nancy and I and Graham said goodbye and I felt like crying because it would be the last time probably that I would ever see the Wurfels. Ian and Graham got a taxi and we piled into it and I felt so relieved. Poor Ian wasn’t having the best of things. He put his arm along the back of the car and when I put my head on Nancy’s shoulder, he began to tickle my neck and because I was feeling so tired and dispirited, I just said, “Don’t” and I think he was a bit hurt. Poor Ian. I think I am the biggest fool that ever lived. I seem to have been doing my hardest to show them the worst side of my nature instead of the best. Oh well, it’s all over now, nothing but school work and day after day after day of the same old routine to look forward to.

19550914 Wednesday – This morning Nancy was ill and had to stay home from work. I think that half of her trouble was that she was worried over me. She was exasperated with me for not making the best of my opportunities last night because she reckoned that Ken had only needed a bit of encouragement from me to make him like me. That’s ridiculous though. Ken likes her not me.

Oh, what does it matter, what does anything matter. I was going to stay home too but I knew I would only mope if I did so eventually I decided to go to school. Just before I went, Uncle John Critchley came and I talked to him for a while. I reminded him of what he had said about three years ago. He said that he was as sure that he would have stopped smoking by the time he was thirty as he was sure that I would be kissed before I was sixteen. He’s now thirty, and I am almost 16. When I reminded him of it he laughed and said that he was still 30 and so there was plenty of time left.

After school today there was a softball practice which I didn’t enjoy one bit and when I got home, Mum had just arrived back from the show. She told me that all the Wurfel’s had been inquiring after me and Nancy, and afterward right out of the blue, Ken came up and asked her how I was getting on because I hadn’t looked to good the night before. Mum told him that I was just tired out and should not have stayed there so late last night, that was all. Does he or does he not like me? Always just when I have made up my mind that he doesn’t like me, something like that happens to make me wonder. So many things make me think he does like me but because of all the mistakes I made on Monday we’ve got mixed up and each of us doesn’t know what the other is thinking.

For instance, say Ken did like me. His reactions to the muddle would, I should think be just as they were. To start with, I mucked around, laughed and fooled with everyone but Ken, not because I didn’t like Ken, but because I did like him. He would think I suppose that I liked Jeff Clift more than I liked him. On top of that, when they were making arrangements for the pictures Jeff might have shown that he wanted to take me. I‘m pretty certain that Ken did the next best thing to asking me to go with him but then Jeff asked me if I was going and I said, “Yes,” because I thought I was accepting Ken not Jeff. Once again Jeff probably said something to Ken and Ken would begin to wonder what was going on. When I asked him who I was going with, he still probably thought I wanted to go with Jeff, so he made no proper reply. When we eventually got there and Jeff had his arm around me, Ken probably thought it was only fair to do the same to Nancy, and after interval, with the whole mix up I’d got myself into, he probably thought I really and truly liked Jeff, so naturally he’d take a sort of a rebound just as I did.

Oh this is just a whole lot of drivel, he just doesn’t like me and that’s all there is to it. You can explain anything away, but it still doesn’t change anything in the end. Oh Ken, Ken!

This evening when Jeff rang up, I was as miserable as I could be and he wanted to know what was wrong and I told him but not much and he could tell I wasn’t in a fit state to tell him anything over the phone so he told me to write to him and then we hung up.

I wrote him the letter straight after I hung up and explained everything and I felt a bit happier when it was off my mind. And by then it was ten minutes to ten. Oh, I forgot, after school today before we left to go to the show, the Mercedes came into the back yard with Lin Wurfel driving it and Mrs Wurfel sitting in the front. It seems that she and Keith were going home in it that evening and Mr Wurfel (who had come a little while before to get the truck) and Ken and Ian were to go tomorrow.

19550915 Thursday – This morning Nancy got packed and “King John” came to pick her up and when she had gone I missed her dreadfully. There was a Softball practice before school which I didn’t enjoy one bit, too much on my mind. The day dragged along and always in my mind was the thought that I would probably never see the Wurfels again and each time I thought of it my heart seemed to hit the ground. It was with relief that I eventually arrived home, because there at least I didn’t have to put up a pretense of happiness. The boys at school seem to watch me and if I look down at the mouth, they ask me what is wrong and then it’s all I can do not to cry on their shoulders, so I just have to pretend to be happy.

At home Mum met me at the door and told me that she and dad were going to the show and wondered if I would like to come “to lay the ghost.” My heart bounded and then it fell flat again and with a sort of a foreboding in my mind I got ready. I had made up my mind to undo all the mess I had made of things but I didn’t get the chance. When we arrived there Dad went off on his own and Mum and I went to the stables. We walked in and my heart was thumping and then it sank again because there was just nobody there.

We looked around and then we walked out again and I determined that I would not go back there again, but it drew me like a magnet and over and over again we returned there but with the same result. In between, we walked around and outside the Advertiser office, I saw Beth Bradbury, Dennis Brown and guess who, Maurice Longden. He is a boy I have liked “from afar” at school. Now I noticed that he looked a lot like Ken. I must like the talk, dark and handsome boys more than the blond ones. I was so taken with the likeness that I gazed at him all the time I was talking to Beth and Dennis because it was as though I was saying Goodbye to Ken.

For the rest of the evening Mum and I walked aimlessly around and even the show grounds seemed just like a tomb in sympathy with the way I was feeling. As it was the last night only a few down in the mouth looking people walked around and it didn’t improve the way I felt.

At last in one desperate bid to end things, we once again returned to the locker. We stood there for a while and then up came Ian Wurfel and it was a tremendous relief just to see someone I knew and then, almost immediate after that, in walked Dad. With a sigh of relief on my part, we left the locker and went into the Grandstand. All I wanted to do now was to go home, but it was evident that Dad was intending to stay because he thought I wanted to stay. I asked to go home though, so we did.

19550916 Friday – Today the Wurfels were to go home and I would have stayed until nine if I thought I would be able to see Ken, but I knew that they weren’t calling at our place but Ian was to meet them at the Old Gum Tree, so I went to school and left home at about half past nine. I was supposed to be having a softball practice with Marilyn Hearne, but she didn’t turn up.

When I arrived home, Mum told me that Jeff Clift had written me a letter and as I was reading it she sat on the bed. When I had finished it she told me that if I had waited another ten minutes last night I would have seen Ken, because he came back to the Stables at 10 o’clock. I could have cried. When I had got over that, I asked her how she knew and she told me that five minutes after I had left this morning, Ken had come in. I didn’t believe her at first because I knew what the arrangements had been, but it seems that Mr Wurfel had not wanted to stop at our place because of the arrangements, but Ken had persuaded him to and he had come in to get Ian. Just five minutes! Why did he stop? Does he like me? Just five minutes! Why didn’t I wait. Oh Ken!

Now he’s gone so that’s the end of that. Goodbye Ken.

19550917 Saturday – This morning I stayed in bed for quite a time and tried to study, but I didn’t do much. I got up later and had a bath and washed my hair. Just to see what it looked like, I cut it into a fringe and I liked it, but Dad didn’t because he was furious. He was really angry and there was a real row about it and, that made me so mad because it is my hair and I should be able to choose how I wear it. Besides, I am saving him the money he would have to spend if I got it cut at the shop.

I went to table tennis this afternoon and played in the tournaments. I got into the semi-finals, but then Mary Eakins beat me. She has certainly improved her table tennis but she’s got a table at home for practice, half her luck. Rosalie Foster won the tournaments again but one day, when I get the time to practice I will give them all a run for their money. I stayed home this evening but didn’t do much, because as is usual with me these days, I wasn’t feeling too bright. Oh Ken, why do I like you so much when I have tried so hard not to like you?

19550918 Sunday – Dad is still mad about my fringe and frowns whenever he sees me. I wonder what they will think of it at school? I bet the boys won’t like it if Dad is an example of how they think. At Sunday school this afternoon, I decided to really get to it next week and study like anything because I must do well in the exams and also, I must do well at school this term. Sometimes I feel that I’d like to live my life all over again and do a better job but them it’s all past now and it’s best not to go back over it.

This morning Graham gave me a lecture about my school work and he tells me that I really must set to it and study and he’s right. He also says that I should give up sport, but I can’t decide what to do. Anyway, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Oh Ken, I simply must not think about you any more, it does no good. Why did I ever go to Pinnaroo in the first place. Oh well what do I care anyway.

19550919 Monday – It was really good fun at school this morning watching the amazed looks on everyone’s faces when I came into the class room with my fringe. Most of the girls liked it but few of the boys did. The agonized expressions on some of their faces was beautiful to see and when Colleen turned up with a fringe too. There were so many remarks passed and we were known for the rest of the day as “the gringes.” And all the boys in turn told us to get rid of them and asked what brought on the fit of madness that made us do it.

Al Kalnins was back today and he was one of the few that liked it. He reckoned it made me look “young and appealing.” He’s been sitting behind me and playing with my hair. In geography lesson he kept putting his face on my hair and all that sort of thing. At least he is someone who finds me “irresistable,” I wish Ken did. This evening I was expecting a letter from Jeff Clift but it didn’t come. I suppose it will come some time later this week. Hope it hurries up because at least that will be something with which to occupy my mind. I wish it were Ken I was writing to. Oh. Forget him Fay, can’t you?

19550920 Letter from Jeff Clift – His letter was sealed with a loving kiss “swalk.”

19550920 Tuesday – It’s funny, but now the Wurfels have gone I find it hard to get back to writing about the ordinary uninteresting things that happen at school now, and as a matter of fact, they don’t even stick in my mind. I suppose I will have to get back to it sooner or later, so it might just as well as be now.

Well, there was a Softball practice this morning. A nice boring uninteresting practice which is typical of school life. We had a sports’ lesson today and I played tennis and won the match. I also beat Wendy Swain by 2 marks in the last test and Mrs Daymond was away. I took my sand shoes home today and also some ankle pads for tomorrow. Terribly interesting isn’t it? Oh Ken, why do I have to keep on thinking about you? Last of all the only thing of any moment in the whole day, Graham is to go to court as a consciencious objector tomorrow. I hope he gets through. They say there is going to be a new judge too. How awful. God will be with him so there’s nothing to worry about.

19550921 Wednesday – I played tennis with Colleen Robjohns this morning and I’m a bit out of practice. Wish I wasn’t playing Softball then I could take up tennis again. In shorthand lesson, Mrs Daymond told us that her daughter has hurt her eye and can’t see out of it properly and she is pretty worried about it. It’s not terribly bad though and should get better fairly quickly. I left early from Economics today for the Softball match and as usual, though I rarely bat well at a practice, I batted well in the match and I got four runs all together and didn’t get out once. We beat Woodville 17 – 8, and it was a good match.

After the match I saw Roger Griggs in the boys’ cloakroom and as I hadn’t spoken to him since the start of the term, I went into the cloakroom after I had got my things and went to talk to him. He was standing in the doorway of the shed looking straight ahead of him and in fun I asked him what he was waiting for. He said, “I’m thinking.” I asked him, “What about,” and he said, “Don’t you know?” I said, “No?” He looked at me so wistfully and then told me to forget it. Seems as though Roger still likes me.

I got Jeff’s letter this evening. Graham also got through the court okay. Thank you God.

19550923 Friday – Colleen and I for the want of something better to do threw a ball up and down before school this morning. I used to thoroughly enjoy that once. I remember when I would career round the yard fighting for balls with the boys, but now it seems such a long time ago that John Badman asked me to go to the school picture evening with him. How nervous I felt when I asked Mum if I might go, the first boy that had ever asked me to go out with him. Ah! So much for that. Played tennis in the half hour period when I was supposed to be at madrigal and played softball after school. Made some good hits.

19550924 Saturday – Charlie’s engagement announced – All today I spent studying for the exam tomorrow. Will I be relieved when that is over. I rang up Nancy and asked her if she was going to the Young Folk’s meeting and she said, “Yes,” When I arrived there we went inside and there was David Wauchope. He’s certainly filled out but he still looks good. I hope he will take up his old position in the young folks because we need him badly. I gave Rosalie Foster a good talking to about David after wards and I think she’ll vote for David if it comes to a vote sooner or later.

Charlie’s engagement was announced. It sounded funny hearing it announced in cold blood.

19550925 Sunday – I tried to study this morning but Graham came in and we started to sing hymns and we didn’t stop for ages. The exam wasn’t bad at all. I hope I have done well in it. At least I will get a first class certificate, I hope. It is such a relief to have it over at last. Graham and I went home and ate bacon and eggs galore. We had fun. Note, Mum and Dad weren’t home.

1955 0926 Monday – This morning I arrived back at school and was greeted as usual by IVB rat house. What a class. They’re not a bad bunch though.

19550925 Annual Sunday School Exam

19550928 Wednesday – We played Brighton today and we won 10-55 and I hit a home run.

19550929 Thursday – I’ve been talking to Beverly Rivers in the dinner about our religion. She is interested.

19551001 Saturday – We went to distribution but it was raining so they didn’t have it. We went to the Temple instead. By the way the “we” is Nancy King and me.

195510 02 Sunday – Holidays, Nancy, Dad, Mum and I went to Victor Harbor to a farm a few miles out owned by to some people who used to live in Pinnaroo. The Edwards. They have three children Russell and Janice and Marion. We had a beaut time with them. 1947 Marion 12, Russel 11, Janice 5 (Edwards). I have a photo in my diary of these three.

19551002 I did an essay titled “Day dreams” about holidays we had at Beachport and Glen Shera

19551005 Wednesday – We played Adelaide Tech. We won and I got a home. I haven’t missed being best player yet.

19551007 Friday – I went to Mr Harris’ (old Pa Harris) place this morning and asked if I could have lessons on the Bible from him. He told me to come on Friday evenings. I went this evening and it was interesting.

19551011 Tuesday – Once again I am seven days behind in my diary and for the life of me I can’t remember much about today at all. Gunta was away again and Colleen and I spent the lunch hour up the shop talking to John and Peter Lawrie. Naturally no one turned up for the softball practice this morning, not even Mrs Clarke.

19551012 Wednesday – Left early for softball today and caught a tram to town and then caught a train to Woodville. It was funny going there because we had a drunk in our carriage who talked incessantly and sang to us between belches. We lost the match and the score was 19-18. One measly run! Wouldn’t it make you sick. We had one of the boy student’s umpiring and he was good looking but spoke very softly. Half way through I yelled out and asked him if he could speak a bit louder and I didn’t mean to embarrass him but he went red and looked awfully embarrassed and I felt really sorry for the poor boy.

19551014 Roma and Maynard got engaged.

19551114 Letter from Denise Mansfield – Dear Mrs O’Connor

Thank you very much for the very enjoyable time which Jillian and I spent at your home last night.
It was very nice to meet Walter and we enjoyed ourselves very much.
Thanking you once again for your hospitality.

Yours sincerely Denise Mansfield.

This was a “thank you” note from Denise for my birthday party.

19551124 Letter from Water Pearce – Walter Pearce wrote thanking Mum for having him to stay at our place. He went to the Messiah in Melbourne and recorded it.

195511 Unley High School Headmaster, Mr Potter’s Retirement

19551127 Letter from Sylvia Pearce.

19551128 Fay’s Birthday

19551208 Thursday – The exam today was awful and I am sure I failed. In the afternoon I went to the beach with Geoff and Al Kalnins, Dennis Brown and Liz. I got quite burnt which was careless of me, but I had a lot of fun in the water, but my flipper broke. I lay down on the beach and read “Tail of my Shirt,” and then had some drinks, got changed and rode home with Geoff.

19551209 Friday – I went to Shorthand and wasn’t going to stay, but Wendy and Beth came so I stayed. Afterwards we went to the Beach and met Geoff there. We went for a swim and when we came out of the water, Wendy was there and we all went for another swim. Then Beth and Dennis arrived and swam with us . Geoff got really burned and I was fairly sore too. Someone slapped me on my back in the afternoon and it hurt so much!

19551210 Saturday – Today I went to tennis at Colonel Light Gardens. I won my singles. In the afternoon I stayed home and got ready for Prize Giving Night. I got 96 and so I got the Consolation Prize but tied with Phyllis Matthews. I received the book “Ways of Providence” for my prize.

9551211 Sunday – I asked Nancy to dinner and then realised I was meant to be at the Lawry ‘s place for dinner. I apologised to Nancy and went to the Lawry’s. We played the Student Prince music .

19551212 Monday – Had the Shorthand Exam at Wayville. I did terribly, I think. Then I went to the pictures and saw “Devil Goddess. “ I had fish and chips for dinner I rang Dad and he came and picked me up and took me home in the car.

19551213 Tuesday – Went to school today and had terrific fun in IV Ps room Kirkenmeister was throwing tennis balls with Dennis Brown. I read and wrote while I was in there and then decided not to go to the Banquet. I talked to Michael and Bob Battersby

19551213 Exams completed

19551214 Wednesday – tried to stop Mum going to speech day but she came anyway. The singing at the speech day was terrific and I had a really good time. I went to see the movie “The talisman of King Arthur.”

t19551215 Thursday – Last Day. There were autographs galore today. I gave out notices for our club, and sang songs in the Physics Lab assembly. I went into the Music room to listen to Bob Pearce. I was beginning to feel terribly miserable because it was the last day at school. Jacky Braunsthall received a present from the students to say goodbye. I got a letter today from Walter Pearce. Bob Pearce practically cried on my shoulder because we wouldn’t see each other after today. Went to a movie “Daddy Long Legs.” With Wendy and Bev Rivers,

Answered Walter’s letter later that night.

19551222 19551222 Letter from Bev Rivers.

Arranging for our class to meet during the holidays

195512 School Magazine.

The year over, how sad. End of my school days. End of my childhood. End of all my easy friendships. How very, very sad.