The Blacksmith’s Daughter by Fay Berry 2013 © – Chapter 39 – 1957 08 02

 My boss, Mr Barrow went to Sydney all this week. He almost had to cancel his trip because his daughter was rushed to hospital with appendicitis, and then he sprained his ankle. I felt sorry for him but it was so nice at work without him, I must say.

Mum talked to Sis Phil Pascoe at Dorcas and she told Mum how much her son Ken thought of Jeff and that’s why Jeff refuses most invitations from anyone on a Sunday dinner time, because Ken hates it when he doesn’t come home to dinner.

I found that I often felt shy in Jeff’s company these days and I didn’t know quite what to do about these new feelings. While waiting to pick up Jeff for Sunday School one Sunday, I walked over to the Christadelphian tennis courts and thought about the sports I used to play at school. I remembered the feel of the sun on my head and how I gloried in the strength of my body and the skills I had developed which must now be diminishing without continuous practice.

It was hard to remain impervious to Jeff’s attractions, but I did my best. I was enjoying the classes at the Woodville Sunday School and the company of the young people who went there. I was doing a lot of typing of notes and study each night and I think I must have been pushing myself too hard because one night I fainted and had to be helped to a chair and put my head between my knees. I was desperate that Mum not be told because I wanted to go the class the next night and knew that Mum would make me stay home if she knew.

I had forgotten to enter my overtime for the last week and when I did, Mr Barrow was not happy that I hadn’t entered it at the proper time. He called me into his office because he could tell that I was not happy with him, and for an hour he tried to prove to me what a good fellow he was and for an hour I tried to prove to him what a good fellow he wasn’t! In the end, I gave notice. Mr Barrow wanted to know what he was to do about Joan’s holidays if I left now. I agreed to stay until Joan had her holidays.

It was Lewis Osborne’s baptism and I was so glad for him. He has really been such a good friend to me. The only problem we had between us was that he wanted to be more than a good friend to me and I just wanted friendship, nothing more.

The continuing criticism I was receiving from Charlie and my exhaustion from too much typing of notes and too many late nights were having a disastrous effect on my health and strength. Resigning my job at The News was not a small thing for me either, and added to the sense of insecurity I was feeling, made me feel insecure and confused. The cattiness of some of the girls got to me and I found I simply didn’t know how to be or how to behave any more. I turned to the one kindly face I could see amongst the group. Jan Randell, I knew, would be kind to me and help me to hold it all together. Jan was (and still is in 2014) one of the kindest most gentle and loving girls it would ever be my privilege to meet. She saw I was in trouble and whisked me away and helped me to regain my equilibrium. I wonder now whether the stress I was under was also affecting my poor long-suffering mother because during the morning meeting at Adelaide, Mum fainted onto Dad’s shoulder and had to be given a drink of water to help her back into consciousness.

Gordon Turner from England was staying at the Pascoes whilst he was in Australia and he was a breath of fresh air. He loved to sing, all sorts of ballads, and he had a wonderful sense of humor and seemed to me to be so happy and guileless. He also loved to whistle and so did I. We would whistle together in the car on the way home to Pascoes and I had such a good time with him.

DIARY ENTRIES

19570802 Friday – It is the first day I’ve written up my diary this week and I’m afraid I can’t be bothered writing up the rest, I’ll just give a brief summary here.

Mr Barrow has been in Sydney all this week. He nearly didn’t go though. His daughter was rushed off to hospital with appendicitis and he almost canceled his trip.Then he sprained his ankle. Will he be happy when he comes back! With him away, I’ve been having a happy time. It’s been really great. If he wasn’t the boss here, I would never leave. There’s been plenty of work, but no one jumping through the door into my office and giving me heart attacks every now and then. Last night I got the whole of chapter 11 and the first three verses of Genesis marked up. I did it from the notes I had taken in two days. Wish it was the “Events subsequent to Christ’s return” that I had marked up because it is going to be much harder to do than the “Abraham” notes that I have been marking. I got a letter from Bruce Philp yesterday. It was a circular to all the ones who went to the Conference letting them know that they would be receiving the “Story of the Bible” for about 4 issues and from then on, he would be pleased if they would order it for themselves.

I started Mum off marking the Names and titles of Deity” the other night. If I can keep her ethusiasm up, I reckon she might do all right. She catches on very slowly though. Mum went to Dorcas yesterday and she told me that she sat next to Sister Pascoe and they got talking about the Sunday night when Jeff almost stayed at our place. She said that she wouldn’t have minded if Jeff had stayed to tea, but Ken Pascoe minded terribly. He was almost in tears when Jeff didn’t turn up and when he did, he almost threw his arms around him and hugged him. So that’s why Jeff always goes home to tea no matter who invites him home. He is very loyal. Oh dear, I’m rapidly falling under his spell, and I simply must not! I wonder if Jeff will turn up at the pamphlet distribution? I’ll be surprised if he does because every Saturday he works on his car, so Sister Pascoe told Mum. Still I’ll go anyway. I’ve typed out all the Abraham notes and sent them so that’s one job off my mind. I went to the Malachi class Tuesday and it was a good study, but it willl take some work marking that up. I might tackle it one day, but not yet. I must remember to give Jeff his Abraham notes. As if I’d forget.

19570802 Letter from Bill Boyd

19570803 Sunday – This morning it was a beautiful sunrise that greeted us instead of the usual dull cloudy sky. I was tempted to wear my summer clothes instead of winter, but I guessed I’d better not. I’d freeze in the Temple. At the meeting this morning, Brother Henry spoke, but I couldn’t concentrate properly. For the first time ever, I choked over the wine this morning. It doesn’t feel so good when it goes down the wrong way. The music on the organ after the meeting had just finished was extra nice and I turned my head rather quickly to see who was playing and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff, and he was staring straight at me. I don’t think he knew I could see him so he didn’t turn his head away. I turned around afterward and said “Hello” to Sister Eakins. Then Jeff stood up and moved out. He shook hands with Mum and so Mum told me later, he turned to shake hands with me, but I was looking down and didn’t see him put out his hand. Mum said he looked disappointed. I wondered if he did? You can never be sure with Mum, because if she wants to read something into anything, she will. I would have shaken hands with Jeff, if I had known he wanted to, but somehow or other I feel shy with him now.

I went out the front and then moved up the aisle. Jeff was waiting at the back of the hall on the other side, evidently waiting for someone. He saw me and then a little later, moved over to the aisle I was in. I passed him and smiled and then went over to the bookcases and had a look at the latest books. I saw a copy of the Westminster Bible Dictionary and asked if I could take it and pay off for it each week. Just after I had got it, Jeff came up. He had some personal contact forms in his hand. I asked him what they were, just for something to say. It feels funny being shy. It’s an unusual feeling for me. He told me what they were and I asked him if they took up much time. He told me they took up more time than he had been giving and he’d have to cut out more meetings. I said that I thought that you can get too many things on the go and get snowed under. He said, “It teaches you to say no, doesn’t it.” I moved off then and got talking with Ray Frankham and Des Manser. Ray told me that at Young Folks they were going to get girls to give things like “spotlights on nature.” After talking for a while, it turned out that I might find myself the first girl to do the job. He said I wouldn’t have to do it for some months though. We’ll see anyway.

We went home to lunch then and I got Jeff’s notes ready. I wondered what I’d say when I got the inevitable, “Thanks, I should be able to knock something up out of these in an hour or so” from Jeff. Charles and Beth were out at the Mansfield’s for lunch so Dad took us to Woodville. We left early and arrived rather early at the place where we pick Jeff up. I got out my Bible and was reading up on my markings for a while but then I got sick of that and got out and went for a walk. I went over to our tennis courts and had a look at the condition they were in. They weren’t so hot, someone had got to work on the tar on the courts and had punctured a hole in the drum and there was tar everywhere. I went over to the fence and watched a distant football match, wondering as I did, what it would have been like if I had played softball for Rebels and Hockey for Greenwood A as I had been contemplating last year. I thought about how you feel when the sun is shining and you glory in the strength of your body and the skill with which you can control a ball. I still have that love of sport but it seems pointless to do it all the time. I would have had to play sport all weekend and practice almost every night of the week. You’d soon feel how I used to feel at the end of a season, sick to death of the aimlessness of it all.

Just then someone called me and Jeff came across to the tennis courts. I walked up to him. He smiled at me and said, “You make a practice of it do you?” I said, “A practice of what.” “Dreaming. You were miles away, weren’t you?” “A few,” I said. “I was playing softball and hockey.” In the car I handed him the notes I had typed up for him. He had a look at them and asked me if I had marked up my Bible on it yet. I said that I had. He took my Bible and had a look at what I had done. Then he shook his head and said he should have written back his notes, but he just hadn’t got around to it. He asked me if he could have the rest of the notes I had typed if it wasn’t too much for me. I said, “Yes.” I showed Jeff the letter I had got from Jamaica from Rowena Ricketts and he read portions of it and I told him about the rest. All the time I was thinking that if Jeff was any other boy and behaving the way he does with me, I’d be positive that he liked me,but with Jeff I can never really tell. He is so complicated, and our relationship is even more complicated. He was different today, though, he was much quieter and sort of humbler and altogether much nicer than normal. He wasn’t even being sarcastic and cynical all the time either.

I wonder how much longer I can keep my head above water. If I knew that he was keen on me and not just playing around, I’d stop trying to remain impervious, but if I’m to be hurt, I don’t want to leave myself open to any more hurt than will naturally come. I hope things come to a head before I go to Sydney. I won’t know how to approach Barrie if I’ve still got Jeff hanging over my head. Barrie might have changed more by the time I get there and I might be able to like him more than I did at the Conference, but if I’m still thinking about Jeff, I won’t know what to do about Barrie, because Barrie has said he will want to know that there’s no one else.

Dad came into Sunday School today and I was thrilled to bits. Hope he keeps coming. Uncle Perce gave a very appropriate introduction to the lesson too. He said that if we are to be “kings” in the kingdom, then it is our “honour” to “search out a matter.” He showed that God reveals things to us when we search. After Sunday School, I spoke to Ron Noble and asked him where Keith Noble was. He said he was in bed with the ‘flu. I told him not to leave because Dad would give him a ride back home. I got Trevor put into an older class because he wasn’t happy about being in the Kindergarten. Geraldine came out then and told me that the singing practice was in progress and reminded me that I was in it. Jeff wasn’t coming home with us this evening because he was going to Frank Russell’s for dinner. He was talking to Dad when I came out. I got Mum and rounded up Ron and Trevor but by that time Mum had invited the Ides home to dinner. Mum went in their car and Graham Ide came with us. Then we got Dad and drove to Keith’s place. I went inside with Ron and Trevor and said “Hello” to Keith. He was in bed and didn’t look to well. He showed me all his books. I think I need a 21st birthday party pretty soon, because I wouldn’t mind having some of the books that he has got. I think he was pleased to have us as visitors. It’s funny, if it had been Jeff who was ill, I would have thought twice about going to see him for fear he would think I was chasing him. Yet with Keith, I wouldn’t think twice about it, but that is probably because I am not chasing him.

19570804 Monday – I typed up most of the Abraham notes today in readiness for the class tomorrow night but I left them at work because I didn’t think I’d need them until tomorrow. I also had one more page to type. In the evening, after dinner, I was settled down to do some marking when Graham asked me to let him know when Ken, his new friend came in and then he went down the back to have a talk with Dad. Ken came when I was in the middle of doing some marking. He was a funny looking fellow and I don’t know that I like him very much. Graham’s certainly getting around with some strange people lately. I told Graham “Ken” was here and then went back into the lounge to do some work. I told “Ken” to sit down and wait, but he said he’d rather stand up, which he did, succeeding in looking awkward and gawky. Graham took ages to come and eventually, I went out to see what was holding him up. He came then and they left. I had just settled down to work again when Dad came in and looked just in the mood for a long talk. He was. He wanted to talk about Graham. We did.

Dad didn’t like having Graham coming and going in the house and not going to meetings and not involving himself in our family activities in the meeting, but Dad didn’t want to drive him away either. I didn’t have any answers really either. Dad told me that Graham had got a letter from Uncle Perce, telling him that he would like to see him. Evidently Graham still owes Uncle Perce about 40 pounds and is not doing anything about paying it back. Of all the people he had to owe money to! Just as we were starting to talk about that side of the matter, Jack Skipper came in to get Dad to do a job for him. They went out and I was left once more to my work.

About an hour later, Jack Skipper came in again and we got talking about various things. He told us that his ambition was to get a printing press to print stuff for the Truth. We told him about our plans to start a copying office and do stuff for the Truth. He thought it a good idea. He asked me about further copies for the Abraham studies and I told him I’d give him a copy. I looked in my files for a copy and there was only one copy left. I gave it to him, thinking I had another one at work, but then just after he had gone I remembered that I was missing the last page of the one at work. I didn’t know what to do. I had to get the notes typed by tomorrow night and I didn’t see how I could get the notes back. Then I remembered Bill Gurd had some copies. I rang him up and asked him if I could come around and get them. I did. It was about half past 11 when I got there and I stayed talking for a while. I was so tired though, that on the way back I almost went to sleep on my bike and I almost came off. I’ve not felt so exhausted for a long time. Too many late nights. I fell into bed when I got home. I really slept.

I was exhausted when I woke up this morning and I would have loved to stay in bed. I dragged myself out though, tottering to the shower where I soaked for about half an hour. I spent most of the morning going madly, but in the afternoon I finished typing the notes and collating them. I had a shower when I got home and washed my hair. It’s much easier to do now that I just brush it dry and it‘s looking better too. I wore my pinafore frock with my white blouse. I like it. Fred Hackett was in the lounge studying and Nancy King was around somewhere. Don McColl didn’t turn up nor did Yvonne Cox. After dinner I punched the notes and gave some to Maynard and got the others ready to take to the meeting. Fred is still making advances to me (like a bull in a china shop). When we had to leave we had to divide up between two cars. He told Maynard and Roma to get in the back of his car, Nancy also in the back and me in the front with him. When we arrived at Eakins place I went into the bedroom and dumped my gear and then went into the lounge and bagged the usual seats for Nancy and me.

I had an argument with Brian Manser as usual about the merits of The News and the Advertiser. Then I went out into the kitchen and talked with Sister Eakins and Ruth for a while. Ruth liked my blouse and pinafore frock and told me I was “wearing the ‘Pretty Lady’ look.” You could have fooled me! I went back into the lounge and got talking to Ray Frankham. I also had some fun teasing Phyl Matthews about sitting next to the lads because John wasn’t there. Then HPM came and and the lesson started. The lesson was extremely good, but it was awfully hard to take notes of what he said. I had tons and tons of notes by the time I had finished. Half way through, Uncle Perce was showing us a diagram he had in his Bible about the way the Israelites camped when they were traveling. Then John Martin told us that we could find that diagram in the little book “the Tabdrnacle.” Then Jeff called out from the other room that the subject at the next Woodville Young Folks class would be “The Tabernacle” and John Martin would be the speaker. There was a bit of laughter at the advertisement and then Phyl said, “He wont even be there. You ask him if he’ll be there.” Uncle Perce did so and Jeff said, “Who says I won’t be?” and Phyl told Uncle Perce to make him give a direct answer. Someone else spoke then and the thing passed over. Wonder whether he’ll be there or not and what was behind Phyllis’ question. I think she was saying that you can’t tie Jeff down? After that and toward the end of the lesson, Uncle Perce made some remark about Abram’s perambulations through the land. I of course, imagined Abram with a dummy in his mouth being pushed in a pram by Sarai. Of course, I started to laugh. I could see straight across to Bob Martin and he started to laugh too. Rosalie stared stonily at us and then she started to laugh as well. I felt quite light headed. I really am overtired.

After the class I went out into the dining room and talked with Des and Bob and Allan Cheek. We were all in a mad mood and with Rosalie in the same mood, well, eventually I left the room because my sides were so sore. I went to the other room and started talking to Peter Mansfield and Keith Noble. Then Bob Martin and Des Manser came through and Fred Hackett and we stood in a circle at the door talking. I could see Jeff over the other side of the room. It was quite funny, really. There was Jeff surrounded by a crowd of girls and I was over the other side of the room surrounded by a crowd of boys. Then Uncle Perce came up and shook hands with me and made a comment about the “thorn” among the roses. I could see Jeff looking across at me. He looked away again and continued talking to his admirers. I longed to go over to him but that’s his prerogative, not mine. I must never chase him. I must leave everything up to him. He knows how I feel and he also knows what he can do. So I’m not going to make any moves. For about half an hour Jeff stood in his group and I stood in mine, Then Fred in a loud voice so that everyone could hear, said that he was taking me home and if I was ready, he was. I told him I wasn’t quite ready. Wonder what the others thought? I went over and got my Bible and my notes. By this time the crowd around Jeff had dispersed except for Phyl. Maynard was making toward me so I just handed Jeff my notes. He excused himself from Phyl and told me that the other notes were very good. I asked him if it had taken him an hour to put them in order. He smiled and told me they’d only taken him half an hour.

Maynard bumped into me then and I turned on him and told him not go knocking me around or I’d call his wife to protect me. I turned back to Jeff then and asked him what he had been talking about. Then Fred came up and Jeff said he wanted to speak to my Father. He followed me out to the room where Dad was, then Fred caught me up and I had to get my coat and go. I wonder what Jeff wanted to speak to Dad about? We left then and once more Fred made sure I was sitting next to him. Nancy said something about it being a lovely night and she felt like walking home and I said to her “Why don’t we?” Then I told Fred that Nancy and I would like to walk and would he please let us out. He thought we were kidding and wouldn’t stop the car. We kicked up a fuss though and eventually he let us out and Nancy and I walked the rest of the way home. Poor Fred, I think he was rather dumbfounded. He’ll never understand women. Nancy and I walked along and she asked me what was up and I told her I was love sick. It’s funny that’s the last thing I would tell any other girl, but Nancy’s like a clam as far as anything like that goes. I said “Have any idea who with?” and She said she’d make a guess and said, “jeff Berry?” I said, “is it that obvious?” She told me it wasn’t it’s just that she knows me so well. We weren’t near each other at all tonight but she knows that I’m not keen on any other of the boys that I kick around with. Then she told me that she liked Keith Noble, but he didn’t give twopence for her. I told her she’d have to get rid of her inferiority complex pretty quick or else. By that time we had arrived home. Fred opened the door and asked us if we had enjoyed our walk. We replied that we had. He shook his head, He can’t make us out. Dawn and Glennis Lawrey arrived then and Maynard and Roma. The twins went home in Fred’s car, and Nancy and I went up to my room then and Mum came too. We talked for a fair while about the latest developments in the King and O’Connor houses. Then went to bed.

19570809 Letter from Barrie Spencer

19570810 – Woodville Ecclesia, Service of thanksgiving to commemorate the opening of the new Hall.

19570812 Monday – I stayed home from work today and though I intended to sleep and have a real rest, I got stuck into some old 1938-1943 Logos and I found some articles on the Plain of Mamre and the Return of Christ. Consequently I didn’t get a rest this morning but spent the whole time typing. In the afternoon I went to the Dentist and took a Logos over there to read while I waited. I was called in eventually and I left the Logos on the seat. The dentist told me there was nothing wrong with my teeth and if everyone had teeth like mine then he’d soon be out of a job. When I came out again, I couldn’t find the Logos and I asked a boy siting there if he had seen it. He went red and pulled it out of his pocket. He had evidently been reading it, got interested and intended to keep it. He asked me if I was a Christadelphian and it turned out that he was training to be a Methodist minister. The dentist called him in then and he had to go. I asked him over to our place when he was finished though and he said he’ d come. I went back home and got my things out and put them on the table and when he came I was halfway through typing the Mission of Elijah. We spent the whole afternoon discussing various beliefs we held. He tried to confound me with long words, and by going back to the Greek. He was amazed though when he found I knew more about the original Greek than he did. Mum came in later in the afternoon and I introduced him to her and after we had talked for a while I invited him to the class next Tuesday. He accepted and then left.

I got ready for the class this evening. I was rather wishing I hadn’t met him at the Dentist though because I had intended to have a sleep but now I was still tired out. I caught the bus to Woodville and got off at the next stop on from Woodville road and walked down to the Hall. I got talking to Judith Mansfield and Roma Wigzell. I showed them the photos Barrie had sent over. They glued their eyes to the one taken at the Oasis. We went and sat down then next to the Ides about three rows from the front. Jeff came in a bit later, looked around and then came and sat in the row behind us at the end next to Elaine Luke and Ray Frankham.

Jeff had to go out the front for the first part of the meeting to deliver his report on the personal contact work for the Adelaide district. He was sitting directly in front of me and there was clear view between us. We both avoided looking at each other most of the time but once, our eyes met and when we broke our glances away again, Jeff grinned and so did I. This is crazy really. It’s as though we’re going all through the first stages again, when we’ve already been close together. It’s a bit back to front. When he had to speak, he got up and I listened rather thoughtlessly to what he was saying and then suddenly it occurred to me that Jeff was as nervous as could be. How unusual? The meeting was a good one and it seems that there is going to be a lot of new fields opening up pretty soon as far as Gospel Extension goes. It seems they’re going to start out on country work.That should be fun. After the meeting, Judith Mansfield, Roma and I went out and helped take the tea out and then we each took a cup and helped ourselves to the biscuits. Jeff was over the way talking to one of the Brothers. I told Robin Mansfield about the boy I had met at the Dentist’s rooms. I moved around and spoke to a number of people, Fred Hackett, Peter Mansfield and others. I was feeling as hot as could be then and my cheeks were flaming. Jeff was over talking to someone but he didn’t seem to be paying much attention to him, but seemed to be letting his attention stray to me every now and then.

Eric Grogan came up then and I showed him the photos I had received from Barry. He was most interested. So was Jeff by the looks. He left the Brother he had been talking to and made towards us. I might have been imagining things, but he seemed to think better of it and then just walked past us. Then Don McColl came up and wanted to see the photo taken at the Oasis, someone had told him about it. I wouldn’t show it to him though. Eric and I went up to the back of the hall where there were fewer people and I finished showing him the photos there. Then Jeff came further down the back and was talking to a brother there. About five rows of chairs separated us. By this time I was feeling rather certain that Jeff would ask to take me home. He seemed to be rather anxious about my movements. Every now and then our eyes would meet. Eric began talking about the colors of the hall then and I began to feel hotter and hotter and as tired as could be. My legs felt weak and Eric’s voice more distant. I suddenly became terrified that I might faint. I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be going home with Jeff. Then from there on from my end it’s rather hazy. I remember Eric saying “get her on to a chair.” And then someone lifted me up and put my head between my knees. Then I could hear Jeff saying, “She was sick Saturday. She shouldn’t have been here tonight.” Then someone gave me a drink of water.

Jeff moved away then and left me to the rest. Eric said he’d take me home and he helped me out to his car. Jeff was at the door when I went through. He left then and I got into Eric’s car. I felt all shivery, but my forehead was still flaming. Just as Eric was about to start the car, Sister Wigzell came running up and told us that Schrapels were passing my place and they would take me home. I changed cars and soon it was filled up with the Harrises, Lindsay Colquhoun and others and we were on the way home. I got a lecture all round for trying to do too much. I crept into the house and undressed and fell into bed. I decided not to tell Mum because I wouldn’t be able to go to the Malachi class tomorrow night if she knew. Charlie was coughing and spluttering at about 1 am so I got up and gave him my NTZ spray. It helped and he went back to sleep.

19570813 Tuesday – Woke up feeling slightly better this morning and still determined not to tell Mum. I got ready for work. Mum kept asking me questions about last night. Was Jeff there? Who did you come home with? I answered her questions but I was glad to get away. I felt dreadful at work in the morning and worse in the afternoon. Then to top it off, I remembered I hadn’t put my overtime down for last week. I went to enter it in but found that Joan had already done the overtime. I knew that Mr Barrow would probably expect me to do without my overtime because I had been away from work on Monday. I decided however, that I would get it because I couldn’t help it if I was sick. I went in and asked him if it would be all right to put the overtime on to the next week. He got angry and told me I should have stayed away Saturday morning and then I would have been at work for Monday. I got mad too, but I didn’t say anything. I went out then, but I was angry, hot, and I felt terrible. Then I decided I’d had it and I rang up Dad and asked him if I could give notice now instead of in a few months’ time. He said I could if I wanted to, but I’d have to get another job for a few months. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew one thing and that I felt so sick of working at The News. I felt I couldn’t put up with it for another minute. Then Mr Barrow called me and when I went in, he could see that I was really miserable. He told me to get it out of my system. I didn’t say anything, I just looked mad. Then he got a bit mad at me and I got mad at him and told him that I was mad about a number of things, about not only the overtime, but about him in general. For an hour he tried to prove to me what a good fellow he was, and I tried to prove what a good fellow he wasn’t. He was the boss though and I didn’t have a hope. I ended up by giving notice. He said “That’ll leave us in a nice spot wont it?” I could see that it would because Joan is going on holidays. I gritted my teeth and told him I’d stay on until she had her holidays, but I’d leave after that.

19570818 Letter from Irene Deverson

19570819 Letter fromKen Niejalke

19570820 Tuesday – I was most pleased when work was over today. I rode home as quickly as possible, had a shower, washed my hair and then went in to our usual Tuesday night visitors. There was one addition, Glennis Lawrey and one less, Nancy King, though she is staying the night. We had the usual fun over tea, everyone joining in the “frivolity.” We had quite a crowd, Dad, Mum, Maynard and Roma, Fred Hackett, Yvonne Cox, Glennis Lawrey, Charles and Beth and myself. It was really fun. It was too good to last of course, as I was passing through the door of the kitchen I passed Beth and she said, “Don’t think I’m awful, but watch it with Fred.” Don’t think you’re awful? Well I do think you are awful, Beth, and I am NOT interested in Fred for goodness sake! What do I have to do to make you understand that!!! I am not interested in Fred, but why can’t I be allowed to be friends with him and enjoy his company. Why won’t you, my dear brother and sister-in-law-to-be LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

19570821 Letter to Barrie Spencer

19570821 Wednesday – I’ve just been up to the Wilson’s to have lunch with Rosalie Foster. Thinking of what Beth had said last night, I asked her if she thought I was a flirt. She told me that to most of the girls my actions appear flirtatious, even though I might not mean them that way. I asked her for instances. She referred to last night at the Abraham class. Fred was talking to a group and he said something about not having time to study because he always had to go home and do the housework. Then Lew Osborne said, “Why don’t you get Fay to do your housework?” and everyone had laughed. “Well, that’s not my fault,” I said , “I can’t do anything about that.” Then Rosalie told me that some time back, Bob and she had a number of quarrels over me because she was jealous of me because Bob and I talked together quite a bit. I said to Rosalie that as soon as a boy is going steady with a girl, as far as I am concerned that’s it. To my mind, I don’t have to worry about them any more because they are attached. That means I can probably be freer and easier with that person because they are no longer single. She said that she understood that now, but she didn’t at that time. She said, “To you that is quite logical, but to others not so logical because they don’t understand how you think.” Seems Charles and Beth are not so wrong, after all. It doesn’t seem to matter what my intentions are, it is what people THINK they are. Well, I’ll just have to be more careful. The only boy I am interested in is Jeff and yet I am always being connected with someone I am not the slightest bit interested in. The ones I am not interested in I am free and easy with and the one I really like I am distant and shy with. It is all so stupid really. To me, all the boys (excepting for Jeff) are all just my brothers and I treat them as such. The funny thing is the one I am keen on is Jeff and they never accuse me of flirting with him, but I guess that is because I hide my friendship with him. Still, they say I am a flirt and the majority rules, so I’ll just have to be even more careful. Sometimes I wish I could just bury my head in the sand like an ostrich. I told Rosalie that I thought that the girls should find something better to do than watch me all the time ready to pounce on some glance or look and dub me a flirt. I asked her why when they flirt, it’s not called flirting, yet when I am friendly they call me a flirt.

Rosalie said, “I’ve thought about this a lot.” She said “When I go into a room and there’s a crowd there, I look around and the first person I will notice is Bob. He stands out. You think for a while and try to understand why he stands out. It’s an indefinable something that just makes him that way. Bob gets criticised, lectured at all the time, for certain things he does, a bit noisy and always in the middle of everything. Well, Rosalie said, “You are like Bob. When there’s a crowd in the room, you stand out. Therefore, like Bob, you have to be more careful because people are watching you and your actions, just about your every movement. Not only that, but a girl can’t get away with it like a boy can. “Oh Great!” I thought, “that’s just dandy!” I can see what she means though. Girls are such cats. All my life it’s been this way. If there’s a mess to get into, I get into it. If there’s an accident, I get hurt. Mum always blames it upon my lack of a sense of fear, but I blame it upon my lack of sense.

It was Lewis Osborne’s baptism tonight. Mum and I went to see it. We sat down the front. John Wilson came and sat next to Mum, and Brother Ern Wilson sat in front of us. I wondered why John didn’t sit with his father. I happened to glance around and saw Jeff come in and sit down. Then I remembered that I have to be more careful with boys. I subsided.

19570822 Lettter to Ken Niejalke

19570822 Thursday – Today has been terrible. It was the lecture at Goodwood in the large hall. I went there with Dad and Mum and determined that I’d watch myself tonight and be careful not to do or say anything that I could be told off for by my brother or my friends. Uncle Perce gave the lecture and it was extremely good. Dad, Mum and I sat next to Geraldine Stokes and Glennis Lawrey in about the fifth row from the front. I enjoyed that part of the meeting, anyway. Then afterwards, I got up and went over and talked to Sister Ide for a while, and then to Jan Randall. Jeff was just behind me, so I moved away from him, and went down the front again, and spoke to Sis Manser. She told me that Rhonda is back from hospital and is much better, but they still have to be careful with her. I told her I’d probably be out at the Manser abode some time next week.

After I left her, I met up with Sis Mansfield and one of the other sisters. I stayed talking with them for a while, and Sister Mansfield asked me if I would be staying home tomorrow night and having a rest. I told her “Perhaps.” I must be looking tired or something. She is not the only one who has commented about be needing more sleep lately. We joked a bit about the Mansfields and the O’Connors always being late for the meetings, well nearly always anyway. Then I asked her if Jim Mansfield would be the only one coming over from Sydney. She told me that the whole family would be coming, Eric Mansfield too.I was really happy about that, it would be great to see Eric again. I left her after a while and made over to the other girls. Then – I don’t know what possessed me, I noticed Jeff was with them. I half stopped and considered turning back, but then I went on. I came up to them all and suddenly I found myself saying, “Guess what, Eric Mansfield is coming over as well as his father.” There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with saying that, but maybe it was the way I said it. There was a stony silence and all the girls stared at me, and then Geraldine said, in this sarcastic tone of voice, “What are we supposed to do, jump for joy?” I could feel my cheeks starting to burn. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have taken it seriously but somehow everything seemed to hard, too much for me. I felt sure they were all thinking I was “a flirt” again. I just stood there. I felt, and probably looked, “stricken.” Jeff moved away. Then Dawn who was very keen to know more about who was coming, asked me who had told me. I turned and gazed at her blindly and told her that Sister Mansfield had. Glennis who hadn’t heard what I said asked me what it was all about. I looked at her and said, “O nothing. I guess I’ve just put my foot in it as usual.” Then I turned and started to walk away. Lewis joined the group and caught hold of my arm, and said, “Don’t go away, I’ve been chasing you around the room half the night and I’ve only just caught up to you.” I looked at him blankly and then walked on. I felt like I’d had a stroke or something. I climbed up the steps that led behind the stage and went into the cloakroom there. There was a mirror there and I stopped and looked at myself. My face was pale, almost luminous, my eyes were wide and staring. I looked as though I’d just seen a ghost. I tried to cry, but couldn’t. I opened up my Bible and read to try to calm myself but the words were meaningless. About ten minutes later, knowing I’d have to face them all again sooner or later, I walked down the steps out into the hall again. I looked around and saw Jan Randall. She was more welcome to me at that moment than an Oasis in a desert. I made for her and it was only when I got there that I noticed that Jeff was standing nearby. I knew I couldn’t handle Jeff right then so I simply turned and fled.

19570830 Letter from Peter Pickering

19570901 Sunday – This morning I slept in. It was wonderful and so unusual. We were on time for the meeting this morning and as we walked down the aisle, I noticed that Jeff was on the aisle seat just behind where we always sit. I stat down and started on my morning readings. Ken Quixley spoke and he was terrific. (He’s from Melbourne). After the meeting I asked Mum to ask Ken home to lunch and she did, but he was unable to come, worst luck. I went out the back and started wiping up the dishes and after that was over, I went out the front again and talked with Jan Randall for a while. I paid off one pound on the Companion Bible I had bought and then got a Septuagint Version of the Bible. It looked quite good. I was searching around for Mum because Dad wanted us to go home and found her with Sister Pascoe. Then Jeff came up. He didn’t speak to me and I didn’t speak to him. We all parted company and went our separate ways. We picked Jeff up to take him to Sunday School at the usual time. This time I spoke and talked to him. Rather different from last time when I ignored him and simply fled when I saw him.

Sunday School went as usual – we were late. Then afterward, Rosalie and I went for a walk and it was quite enjoyable. When we arrived back, Mum was on to us to be going. I had to climb into the back of the car and this presented rather a difficulty as my skirt was too tight. Rosalie gave me the solution. She told me to sit down on the back, and swing my legs in. I did. I was glad Jeff wasn’t there to laugh at me. He came up afterward and it was good to know that we wouldn’t be dropping him off, but that he would be coming home with us. When we arrived home, I went out into the kitchen and helped Mum. A bit later the others arrived, John Martin and Verna, and Elaine Luke and Ray Frankham. They talked about the “operation” for the party until tea time and then continued the talk over tea. That is, until Mum and Verna kicked up. Then the talk got on to the Union notes and John reckoned that the subjects set were miles too expansive and that if they were allowed to get off the Union and consider various subjects, then they’d be able to do it justice. I told him that I had become bored at Sunday School in Adelaide and I enjoyed the subjects we covered at Woodville. I said that others were leaving Adelaide and going to Woodville for the same reasons. Elaine said she thought it was wrong for them all to go to Woodville when Adelaide needed them as teachers. John said that he believed they shouldn’t be calling on such young girls to teach anyway, because in 10 years say, a person changes their views on things a doze times over, the more they study. The girls and boys should still be learning and if they could get the meat at Woodville then they should do so. If Adelaide provided more solid material at Sunday School, then the young people would stay there. I agree with that because at the time when I left Adelaide to go to Woodville, I didn’t really want to leave Adelaide but I felt I had to to get access to some deeper studies.

We had to leave the dishes in the sink then because it was too late. I went to the meeting in the back of Elaine and Ray’s car. Jeff and Brian Wigzell went in John’s car. I walked up to the meeting with Elaine and Jeff walked on the other side of Ray and then he went ahead of us.I walked up to Jan and asked her if I could talk to her. She was in fits of laughter because her brother had just walked into the Men’s and she not thinking had started to go in too, until Brian Manser had pulled her back. I laughed, somewhat glassily and then asked her to come somewhere else for a minute. I had not idea what I’d say to her when she did, but I had to get away from Jeff. She said she had to speak to Frankie first but would come with me in a minute. Then Jeff came up. Jan laughingly started to tell him off for not stopping her from almost walking into the Men’s.

Then Jeff looked at me and I suddenly felt I couldn’t stand there any longer. Out of the corner of my eye I could see all the girls across the other side of the room looking at me. I cast a frightened glance in their direction then I looked back at Jeff. I didn’t speak – I couldn’t. Then I suddenly got an overpowering desire to run from the hall. Then I looked at Jeff again. He was looking at me queerly. Then Jan saved the day, she saw Frankie across the other side of the room. She caught my arm and we both moved over to him. She spoke to him and then we both went over against the wall, and she asked me what on earth was the matter with me. I couldn’t tell her. I sort of had nothing to say. She guessed that I was upset and in her lovely way, she told me not to worry about whatever it was, and that I must get some early nights. I managed a weak smile and we walked down the hall towards Mum. I told Mum I thought it was time we went home and Jan told Mum to look after her daughter. I went outside then and waited for Mum and Dad but they didn’t seem to be coming. Then I went in again and found Mum talking to Sister Ide. Sister Ide asked me if I would come to their place to dinner Sunday. I said I would. Then desperately I asked Mum to get Dad and come home.

I left the hall, and half walked and half ran to the car, then I got into the back seat and lay down. Then I began to cry, I couldn’t stop myself. When Mum and Dad came, I told them I was tired and wanted to lie down in the back. It took me all my time to stop myself from crying out loud. When we arrived home I got out of the car and walked quickly inside. I threw off my clothes and got into bed and then I began to sob like mad. Mum came in and asked me if she could help. I told her to go. She didn’t. I turned on her and screamed at her,”Leave me alone.”

19570907 Saturday – This morning, Mr Briton Jones was working, not Mr Barrow, so after morning tea (which he shouted me) I went home. Mum said there was a lot of work to be done when I arrived home, so I tidied up my room and helped with the dishes and a few other things but there wasn’t much to do really, so I put my typewriter in the back of my bike, plus my diary and went for a ride. I ended up at the Wilson’s place and found them just about to start lunch. Both John Wilson and Uncle Ern were in bed with the ‘flu so I helped take their lunch into them. I talked to Aunty Grace for a while, then went in and talked to John. During the afternoon they got onto my typewriter and started bashing on that. They got out this “license to kiss” thing and started to type it. Just like young boys do. (Ehm Grandma!). They were trying to make up new things in it and were asking me for help “because I was experienced.” Sounds good! John said that I should be able to help them. “What about when Jeff took me home.” They’re still very keen to know about that. They knew I had my diary with me and were most keen to read the account of that night in it. I didn’t allow them to, naturally.

I went in and talked to Uncle Ern for a while and we discussed the book he was reading. “The Bible in History,” I think it was called. We talked about the “Events subsequent to Christ’s return” and we had quite a discussion about that. I went back into John’s room after and somehow or other, we all started to draw. I drew, or should I say copied a picture of a girl. They seemed to think it was rather good so they kept it.

19570908 Sunday. This morning Keith Provis spoke. Jeff sat directly behind me and as Charlie wasn’t with us, Beth sat with us too. Halfway through the meeting Mum fainted on Dad’s shoulder. It gave me such a shock and I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there. Dad didn’t know what to do either and he looked as though he was debating whether to attempt to carry her out or not. Brother Wauchope got up and went up onto the platform and got the glass of water from there and brought it to Mum. She drank it and seemed a bit better. She didn’t go out but said she’d be all right. When the “excitement” was over, I just sat there, my cheeks were burning and I to make things worse, I felt Jeff looking at me, at least I think I did. After the meeting I didn’t say anything because I knew Mum was feeling self-conscious enough as it was. She said she was feeling better. We went home later and had lunch, then we were picked up by Jeff in Sister Pascoe’s car. Sister Pascoe was in the car and also Gordon Turner from England. Beth and I got into the back and then we went on our way. Gordon proved to be quite good company and good fun too. When we arrived there, everyone stared a bit at us coming in the Pascoe’s car. By the time we got out though we were late as usual. We walked in and Sister Pascoe sat next to me.She sat next to me in class too. The class was milder than usual. I think everyone felt they knew that part of the subject. After the class, I sat next to Robin Mansfield and Sister Pascoe on the other side of me. I bet the girls think I’m getting in with Sister Pascoe so that I can get nearer to Jeff.

I talked to Robin for a while afterwards then to Bob Martin and Rosalie. They informed me that there is going to be a personal contact afternoon next Saturday. I told them I’d be there. We gathered up the Richardson kids then and got into the car. Aunty Ivy Thompson came up then and talked to Sister Pascoe for a while. I asked her how Fred was. Then I had the thought that Jeff might be wondering what is happening between Fred and I. Sister Pascoe suggested that Jeff drop her off first and then take Beth and me home to give her time to get the dinner ready. Jeff did as she asked. On the way to Pascoe’s place, Gordon kept us amused in the back. He’s fun, I like him. When we got to Pascoe’s place, Sister Pascoe got out and then Gordon said that he might just as well get out as there was no need for him to stay in. I told him to stay where he was and to come back for the ride. Then he said that Jeff would have all the company he would want coming back. I froze up. I laughed though and continued to press him to stay. He said no and got out and Jeff called out to him to stay too, but Gordon went inside. I wondered what Jeff was thinking, seems they’re connecting us up.

Then Beth didn’t make things any easier, she started to tease us both on the way home. I felt I wouldn’t have minded if I knew how Jeff felt, but I thought he probably did not like his name connected with mine. When we got to our place, I got out and took my hat inside and got my coat and beret. The Martins arrived and Jeff spoke to them for a while. Then I got in the front with Jeff and we drove up to the Richardson’s place to drop the kids off. We were quiet for a while then I said that I hoped he had a thick skin. He asked me if I thought he might need one. I told him I thought he might. We were quiet most of the way. I don’t know whether he is just not a good driver or whether he was a bit nervy but he was clashing the gears a bit. I wish I could see inside that clam of a head of his. On second thoughts. It would be a waste of time. When we got to Pascoe’s place, it was time for dinner and we sat down straight away. I was feeling slightly shy but Gordon started up a brisk back chat type of conversation and it was fun. I think Gordon is quicker witted than Jeff. He always comes back with an answer anyway. Sister Pascoe is not slow either. Altogethr we had an enjoyable meal. It seems that ever since Jeff has been at the Pascoes they have been trying to matchmake him off, but have been unsuccessful. I said, “better luck next time,” to Jeff and Gordon both caught on that I was referring to Gordon at the same time and they both laughed.

We began to discuss the type of girl that would suit Gordon. I suggested Nancy King and Jeff said, “Have you met Nancy, Gordon? You haven’t? Oh well have to see about that.” Then he mentioned Geraldine Stokes. “There’s a fiery little miss for you.” We had to leave the dishes in the sink then because it was late and we had to go. I walked with Sister Pascoe. When we got to the gate Sister Pascoe asked me if I wanted to sit in the front next to Jeff. I looked at hr and said that I’d sit in the back. She said that if I wanted to sit in the front I could. I began to get a little bit annoyed. Poor Jeff, the way I’m being thrust down his throat. I asked her what was cooking and she could see I was a little annoyed and hastened to cover it over and said something about not giving up her seat in the front as a rule. Do they think I’m supposed to be going with Jeff? Has he given them that idea, or is it just the conclusion they’re jumping to? I can just imagine what Jeff is thinking “I’m stepping out of this before it gets too hot.”

Anyway, I sat in the back with Gordon. No wonder poor Sister Pascoe is scared in the car. Every time they pass some white marks on the road they comment about them and scare the poor woman. Gordon began to whistle after a while and I began to whistle too. He has a deep whistle and mine is higher. It blended quite well, and he seemed to know a lot of the tunes I know. We both whistled “Hayden’s Serenade” together and it sounded so good. It was reallly peaceful and lovely on the way there. When we arrived, as usual we were late. We walked in but couldn’t get seats together. I sat next to Brian Luke and Ken Pascoe. Merve Milverton was speaking and the idea was to present the gospel in a simple way. I was good but a little too simple, I thought but I guess it would have been okay for a stranger to listen to. If I had been a stranger, I would have gone away with two thoughts. One that the world would be a better place if people read the Bible and even better if they practiced “Christian principles,” so if they took that to heart, then the lecture would have achieved the speaker’s purpose.

Continue Reading . . . Volume 1 – Chapter 40